Sibling Rivalry

I have worried for a while about how Ella will cope with the change in our family dynamic when baby arrives. She has been back and forth between really excited, wanting to be the grown up big sister and being less interested, almost regressing back to baby-hood herself.
I have thought all along that Lee is going to have a harder time of it than me but he has always disagreed. I am her Mum after all so he assumes she "loves me more" but he doesn't understand. To Ella she's never known anything other than a Mum and Dad and a Stepdad. He's as much her parent as I am. If anything it will be worse for her with him when baby comes along because he's her Stepdad. I don't think it's about her preferences I think she's a smart kid and right now she knows she's the closest thing he's got to a child but once the baby comes along that wont be the case anymore. If you were Ella would you not feel threatened by the arrival of a biological child? I liken it to a family that has adopted and goes on to have a child of their own, that adopted child is going to feel a completely different kind of jealousy and resentment.
Ella knows I am her Mum ans I am going to be Milo's Mum too but Lee is going to be this baby's real Dad and even at 6 she knows there's a difference.
I really don't know how to reassure her without making a big issue of it but have suggested that we each have an activity we do with Ella alone and then perhaps a film night once a week when the baby is in bed and she can stay up late. It's a very tricky situation for any family but possibly more complicated still for a "blended" family such as ours. I'm sure we will manage but I wanted to share my thoughts in the hope it would open a discussion among you who have an opinion or have even experienced a similar situation.
This evening Lee told me he finally believes I could be right about her jealousy focusing on him. Ella has always been very affectionate towards him and to anyone watching them together you can see how much she loves him but she's never been overly vocal about her feelings to him. Apparently while I was out of the room today and they were cuddling on the sofa, as they do, she turned to him and said "I like you". Given the amount of time we have been a family unit it may seem like a strange thing for her to say but I think the timing tells us she just wants to make sure he knows.
I've heard her say she loves him before but smart as she is we always suspect she is after something, on this occasion there were no follow up requests, just a spur of the moment expression of fondness.
I hope the solo to sibling transition is smooth. I know that my daughter is loving and kind natured, a big part of me thinks I have nothing to worry about, she will be a big help to us and the perfect big sister but she is still my baby and I want to do everything I can to ensure she feels loved and part of our new family.

Lee wrote a post about Step-parenting, you can see it here

Ella's Olive Branch

Ella holed herself away this afternoon in the dining room with her pencils and I'll admit we were both intrigued as to what she was doing as she was gone a while but when she emerged with this I was touched.

I've never thought she resented the baby but I have worried (as you would) that she may be jealous when he arrives. We've spent a lot of time talking baby recently as my pregnancy is nearing an end and I've felt a change in her. She's becoming more clingy and almost regressing, wanting to be baby again. I have tried to dial down the baby but it's hard so I was really pleased when she presented me with this.

Earlier she had come to me and asked for help spelling some words (don't think she's a Mensa class 6 year old, she did have a little help) but I wasn't sure what she was doing. Basically she's explained to me that it's an "article book" which I will have to write in because the baby can't. I think it's meant to be kind of like a diary but really.. only Ella knows. I really like how she's even lined the pages to be written on... that's attention to detail right there! Not to mention his name on the back cover.. spelt Milow.. awww! and a little love heart! So maybe she wont hate her baby brother after all. It's a legitimate worry I imagine most parents have when introducing another sibling, I may have to dedicate a whole post to it but in the meantime I'm feeling much more comfortable already.

let's have a close up on that shall we?

Awww!

Week 32

First of all what is a Jicama? My baby is the size of a large one this week but I couldn't even hazard a guess! Any help?

Moving on... Ouch! My hips, my thighs, between my legs... Ouch! How did I get to my 32nd week of my second pregnancy without knowing your hips "soften" in prep for the birth? I felt a wee bit silly to say the least. It's only happened this week and boy am I glad I only have a week left at work.

Walking even short distances is really uncomfortable, I feel about 100 years old. We got our pushchair at the weekend... Very exciting.. Will be sharing with you all very soon! I can't think of anything else but get ready for posts a plenty once I'm off :)

This Time It's Personal

I was trawling eBay for personalised baby-wear and came across these cute taggy-toys. At just £4.99 each I couldn't resist and yes I know Ella is not a baby anymore but I couldn't buy one for the new baby and not her, could I? For the record she loves it, I figured it's just one of the many little things I will have to do to try and ward off the jealous sibling issues. Anyway I thought I'd share some pictures because I love them, they arrived super fast and they are such good value. For £4.99 you can also get their DOB under the name but obviously I don't know when Milo will arrive just yet so I stuck to just names.
If you're interested you cam buy them here
The seller also does blankets and other items, all embroidered and personalised, really sweet looking stuff so I will probably be buying more from her in the future.
Can you recommend any great online baby stores?

Week 31

3.3lb! That's more than half a pound in a week!! *eek*

Strangely I'm feeling slimmer in the bump region lately. It feels like he's repositioned himself or perhaps found the portal to narnia. He's been very interested in getting under my ribs too.. I've told him it's a bit tight but he seems determined! This week he's the size of 4 Navel Oranges!? What does that even mean? Are they in a row or a square? Odd!

I was remembering last night my weird symptoms from early on in pregnancy, one stand out one was hot boobs.. Yep, you heard me! I don't know if its something to do with the increase in size early on or just blood rushing to the surface but they were uncomfortably hot.. definitely one of the stranger side effects. More recently I suffer from strain related issues like achey legs, itchy skin and breathlessness... I'm not even going to get in to my weak bladder. I'm still relatively comfortable all things considered and getting more and more excited as I stock up on baby essentials. Hard to believe the wait will be over soon...

Bargain Buggy

We took a trip to York Designer Outlet today where there's a Mamas & Papas store. We went in on the off chance we might see something we liked for cheap, we didnt expect to find the bargain of the century.

You may remember my last pushchair post (if not you can read it here) where I'd pretty much settled on the Sola with the Aton carseat. Well.. low and behold we rock up and M&P's today to find it there at a large discount. The RRP is £275 and there were 4 or 5 different colour options there for £170. Awesome! All of the pushchairs there are ex-display which doesn't bother me at all for that kind of saving. Anyway... I haven't even gotten to the best part yet... While we were there we noticed an even better deal. A buggy we hadn't really looked at before because it was more than I really wanted to spend, The Urbo.

The Urbo retails at £325 full price but not here... here it was £160!!! Even CHEAPER than the Sola! I seriously don't think I'll find a better deal than that. There were two available in black and we're going back next week with my parents to see it (they're forking out the cash) so fingers crossed one of them is still there but worst case scenario there will be some Sola's which I still really like. Lee is absolutely obsessed with the Urbo now because it's all pimped out in chrome and all but I'm not that bothered either way. They're both really nice.

The reason I was planning on getting the Mamas & Papas Aton car seat (£140) was the £50 off deal when you buy together with the pram but as we will now be buying seperately I'm considering the Maxi Cosi (£125). And do I buy a isofix base or is it safe enough to secure it with a seatbelt? Ugh!! So many decisions and so much expense. I bought one last time (3 actually) and now I look back and can't believe what waste of money it was. I had no idea you didn't need one. They prey on weak expectant parents and their desperate need to protect their unborn children and sell an item seperately that costs nearly as much as the carseat itself to connect it to your car... what a con! I don't know how we allowed this to happen but it did, anyway that's for another post. In the meantime I'm excited to revisit the store next week and potentially bring home our baby's bargain buggy. 

30 Weeks - Baby Kicks

Week 30

This week baby is 2.75lbs and the size of a cabbage.. I thought a cabbage was pretty big but I'm not so sure now. He is perfectly formed but still very small. He doesn't feel very small let me tell you! This week he's developed an interest in kicking my in the ribs.. so that's nice for him... something new. He's moved around so much I've been googling what he could be doing in there, I'm so curious. Lee has been able to feel him for a while but now it's getting creepy.. It feels like he's pushing so hard against me that I'm going to have a limb suddenly burst out of my belly like the scene from Alien. Scary stuff! I'm going to try my best this week to get his movement on tape again, it was cool before but the movement was so slight you culd barely see it. now he's bigger I think it will be more obvious. I have only 2 and a half weeks left at work which is both exciting and very scary (means it's nearly time).. Once I'm off you can be sure I'll be blogging/vlogging everyday. I'll be sat home all day looking up birth and all the things that could go wrong... it's just the kind of person I am.. big planner... big worrier! My blog will be my venting space. I can't believe I'm at 30 weeks already. It feel so close now. It's gone by so fast bearing in mind I found out early because we were trying I thought it was going to drag but It only feels like 2 minutes ago I was blogging about how I wanted to get pregnant.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable or like I've had enough I try and remember how much I wanted this and this might be the last time I get to do it.. I think that's really helped how well it's gone for me so far. I've started to get aches and pains in my lower abdomen, around the site of my original c-section scar. I was warned by my midwife that my scar tissue wont stretch and so it will start to hurt as I get bigger towards the end. Apparently some women think they're experiencing labour, it can hurt that much.. awesome! I've had a little discomfort in the area and one evening it was really aching but not TOO bad so far... I have a feeling that's going to get worse before the end. The breathlesness is increasing and sleeping is becoming a little more difficult but I'm not tossing and turning until the wee hours just yet... I've had a pretty easy time of it so far... oh and still no stretch marks.. keep your fingers crossed for me! 

 

29 Week Vlog Update

Better Butter?

I just had to share this awesome find with you all. I will be doing a full review on my beauty blog but I couldn't wait to tell you how fantastic it is! I've been using this Soap & Glory body butter for a couple of days now and not only does it smell gorgeous it's the thickest body butter I've ever used and it still sinks in really well while leaving enough time for massage. It's the perfect pregnancy skincare product!

It's also a fraction of the cost of the Mama Mio butter I was planning on buying!

Win Win!

I had to share a quick bump picture of course...My nails match my jamas!!!!

 Note: I tried to compare valuefor money in the two products but it was tricky as Mama Mio measure their butter in grams and Soap and Glory use millilitres but here goes.. According to my online research friend, google, 125g is  235.85ml.  

Mama Mio Tummy Rub Stretch Mark Butter "235ml" - £23.00

Can be bought online here

Soap&Glory The Righteous Butter 300ml - £10.21

Can be bought online here

*EVEN BETTER - can currently be bought on 3 for 2 at Boots*

Both of these products contain the active ingredient Shea Butter and I just refuse to believe the Mama Mio option can be any better than Soap&Glory's offering. At more than twice the price I'm not willing to find out for myself.

Week 29

Wow.. Some symptoms have really kicked in this week. I've been growing increasingly breathless as time's gone on but now it's ridiculous! If I talk too fast I find myself panting and even standing for extended periods of time.. Getting frustrating now! In myself I am fine. I dont feel unwell at all or that pregnancy is preventing me from carrying on as normal but my every day activities are getting that bit more difficult. I am struggling to imagine growing even bigger right now when already I'm finding it hard to get off the sofa (lol) but I know I'm going to get much bigger before I'm done.

Babies are most active between 7pm and midnight apparently, I've found Zach to be quite the mover 24/7.. Hopefully that's not an early sign of a non-sleeping baby. Over my last 3 months of pregnancy he's going to grow from the 2.5lb he should be right now to the 7 or 8lbs he should be at birth. This means his movement will become less frequent as he is restricted by the space he's in and more uncomfortable for me for that same reason. I'm starting to get really itchy where my skin is stretching out. So far I'm stretch mark free and am keeping everything crossed I remain that way but every day he's getting bigger and I already feel fit to burst! As if the cellulite to my knees wasn't enough the threat of giant stretch marks is enough to keep anyone awake at night!

Ella Explains It All

you absolutely have to watch these... priceless!

28 Week Bump

I always look so weird in these photos.. I don't think I've grown that much in the last 4 weeks but it still baffles me how much bigger I'm going to have get for the baby to grow to a healthy weight. He's only 2.25lb this week which means he's going to triple in size before he's born.. I'm likely to get TWICE as big as this!! I'm glad I only have 4 more weeks at work, I don't think I'd be comfortable any longer than that.

Week 28

Chinese Cabbage.. Doesn't usually summon images of a cute baby but regardless that's what Zach is likened to this week!

I had a midwife appt this morning .. More blood.. Eugh! She talked me through my last trimester (I'm officially in it from this week) I will have a further appt in 3 weeks then another 3 weeks later.. The week after that I see my consultant who all being well will book my csection for 3 weeks later.. Eek! Its all going so fast. Its like 3 weeks here, 3 weeks there.. BABY! she did tell me I wouldn't be allowed any pre-meds before the section which is disappointing but I'll just have to suck it up and get cut open fully aware of everything... I'm not gonna lie.. I'm not looking forward to that!