Sunday, 26 December 2010

Clearblue Fertility Monitor

So... as the year draws to a close I am thinking a lot about my resolutions.. 
Obviously I would love to conceive in 2011... hopefully early on and so I've been on the research trail looking for things to speed up the process. Now I've come across the Clearblue Fertility Monitor before on BabyCentre and people seem to rave  about it but it's pretty pricey and I didn't want to shell out the cash unless I though we needed the help. It's officially 6months+ since we started trying and we've come across obstacles that I'd like to think we've conquered but I still can't sit around and wait. I need to feel like I'm doing SOMETHING! We won't know if Lee's procedure in November actually affected his fertility until he has another test in February so I think I will wait until we see the results to pay the £99.99 (rrp) for the CBFM. After all if the embolisation made no difference to his count then there is probably little point in spending money on attempting to conceive naturally when I expect we will be told our chances are slim.
If the tests are good I think I'm going to make the purchase though.
I've heard so many good things from other couples TTC I've met online that I don't know if I can afford NOT to try it. Over Christmas I've felt broodier than ever and I am so frustrated all the time.. maybe if nothing else this would give me something to occupy me. Some people have great results and you never know.. I could be on here in a couple of months time plugging this wonder machine available at all good chemists to anyone who will listen but in the meantime I am just waiting to see how our first little problem is doing... then we'll know where we are. I will of course keep you updated.
Thankyou for your continued support and for being genuinely lovely people who pick me up whenever I'm feeling low. Merry Christmas to you all and I hope you all have a fabulous time with whatever family you have over the festive season.


miss bb

Monday, 20 December 2010

Another frustrated month...

So I had a lot of hopes pinned on a christmas positive.. But alas it's not to be! As usual I took an unecassary pregnancy test the day before I am due and as usual I got a big fat "not pregnant" result!

I bought some ovulation predictor kits online to test last month but I didn't find my peak. That bothered me after last months early period which according to google means I failed to ovulate... Ugh!
Just as The sperm problem is dealt with the eggs refuse to play ball! I feel like we made a real concerted effort but nothing is working! I'm beyond frustrated at this point! I know that the docs wont go into any fertility investigation until at least a year I just feel like I'm wasting my time. What scares me most is.. What if we do have to wait the year out and what if we do have to go through IVF or similar... I'm just assuming if it gets to that point i'll conceive... But it's not guaranteed! I never thought this would happen to me! How do people try for years? How do they do it?


Miss BB

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Another Month... Another No...

So it turns out it was  just wishful thinking as Aunt Flow arrived just days after my last post :(
What was so odd was that she arrived almost a week early which is totally unheard of..
When something like that occurs I always think... maybe it's a symptom! Oh I am hopeless being so hopeful. It does me no good at all. I am ordering some ovulation predictor tests right now on trusty eBay so this month will be our first real go since the suregery.
I don't know if it can have worked it's magic yet but if it has we have a real chance of getting pregnant before Christmas. It wont be the end of the world if we don't and the longer it takes the less pressure there is to get divorced/get married asap but still...
It sucks waiting! As always, I'll keep you posted...


miss bb

Sunday, 21 November 2010


Is it just wishful thinking or could I be???
I have avoided symptom spotting where possible but some things are toi hard to ignore! Fatigue.. This can be put down to my new job, I'm on my feet all day for long hours.. This could also account for my sudden increased appetite!
But this is a big one,. I get this every month but not as long or as bad... Sore boobs!!! They are KILLING me! I actually woke up last night 'cause they hurt so bad... That has never happened before. So fingers crossed for me but I can't test for another week... Ugh! I hate being hopeful during the two week wait! It sucks when my AF arrives..
I think our best chance will be december, it will be four weeks since Lee's hospital visit so four weeks for that to start working!
Fingers crossed.. But not too crossed... Maybe..


Miss BB

Friday, 12 November 2010

To Hospital We Go...

So today was the fateful day, Lee went in for his Varicocele embolisation...
he was understandably nervous, they were going to put several coils in his scrotum :p

His wristband... note the date :)
nice keepsake

In this stylish robe waiting to go in..

They took him away in his bed and he was away nearly an hour and a half for what should have been a 10/15 min operation, I was a touch worried!... I was alone in his empty room..

Lee after the procedure.. He was right as rain, nothing to worry about!

To the extent we went out to dinner when he got out (note the wristband) lol

That was our day!
I will do a more comprehensive post when we know more but right now all we know is that 4 platinum coils were inserted into veins in his abdomen to clot the blood and prevent too much getting to the varicocele which would in turn overheat the sperm!!
All a bit technical but it can take 3-6 month to work so only time will tell!


Miss BB

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Op's Booked - Christmas Conception?

So we got the letter through the other day and Lee's Op is booked for Friday 12/11
He's obviously nervous but having looked at the alternative he is relieved its the embolization as opposed to the actual repair surgery he is having.

For those wondering what the hell a varicocele embolization is here's a snippet I stole from somewhere..

"Varicocele embolization is an image-guided procedure that uses a catheter to place a tiny coil and/or embolic fluid in a blood vessel to divert blood flow away from a varicocele.
A varicocele vein is an enlarged and lengthened vein in a man’s scrotum. It can cause pain, swelling and infertility. Varicocele embolization safely relieves that pain and swelling and may improve sperm quality for infertile couples."

It's a pretty straightforward procedure that's not very invasive and shouldn't require an overnight stay but he will be under "twilight sedation" which he's very excited about (he thinks he's gonna turn in to R-Patz lol) which apparently causes a kind of amnesia so you don't remember the procedure.. freaky right?

Anywho, he's in at 12 on Friday and hopefully I'll be able to get off work to go with him.
fingers crossed all goes as planned, we've done a little research and forum hopping and most people have had really great experiences.. pregnant within 2 months etc. The doc advised that it can take up to 6 months to start working so I'm trying not to get my hopes up but we could be looking at a Christmas conception?
A little baby Noel? Holly?
You never know!

Will keep you guys posted


miss bb

Friday, 29 October 2010

Bood Tests and Bad Days

Of all the bad days there have been recently... this has to be one of the worst!
It pretty much all round sucked.
I popped into work on my day off for a mandatory meeting where we were all informed our contract was ending and we will all be out of a job in 4 weeks time.. great!
My period was a day or two late... I took the test yesterday but couldn't help but remain hopeful... mistake!
I got the work and had a cuppa on an empty stomach which on occasion has made me nauseous but never sick. On this occasion I was... in the middle of the meeting where we all got our notice I had to run out to throw up. So there I am thinking OMG I could actually be pregnant when in fact it was just a mixture of the tea and stress. I feel worse today than ever. My period came OF COURSE...
prior to all that drama we went to the hospital to get Lees bloods checked..
Can I get an "Aww" ?
Bless him, he was a nervous wreck! But the nurse was a pro and he's since said he would give blood if he got a biscuit out of it LOL. I love him for going through this stuff without complaint so far.
As soon as we have the results (hopefully early next week) I will update you all.. in the meantime.. I'm not pregnant and in 4 weeks I'll be blogging full time :p


miss bb

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Why do I do it?

Why do I do these things to myself?

My Period was due today (tmi? sorry but you can expect that kinda thing here) It's ALWAYS here by Thursday... ALWAYS!! Occasionally it may arrive unannounced on a Wednesday but it's NEVER late!
SO... It got to around 7pm and I'm thinking.. I could be.. it's not completely out of the realm of possibility is it? There's always a chance I could get pregnant right? I mean it only takes 1 sperm and 1 egg..
So around this day every month I feel that rush of hope, I love this time for that reason but hate it for the disappointment that inevitably follows. I always feel the symptoms :-
  • sore boobs
  • nausea
  • menstraul cramps I believe to be "implantation pains"
  • increased appetite
  • always tired
The list could go on! I convince myself I'm pregnant every month.. every month the day my period is due I take a test... every month my period arrives later that same day. Today (so far) is different. It's 00.47 the following morning (late night) and Aunt Flow is still yet to arrive. At this point I am almost missing her...
Once I know I'm not pregnant I'd just rather get it out of the way. I'm lucky and she normally only visits for 3 days but always over a weekend when I have plans... bitch!
In all honesty if I knew I could get pregnant at the touch of a button I would probably wait a couple of months, maybe 'til we were married.. but knowing we are sure to have more fertility issues down the road I can't lose that time.. and it's not like I'd be disappointed if I fell pregnant now, I'd be over the moon.. just could be better timing. I'm hoping that our run of bad luck will work in our favour and it will finally happen in the most inconvenient month.. I'd take that kind of bad luck any day of the week!!

Anywho... We have to be up early to go to the hospital for Lee's blood tests.
Apparently they are testing for testosterone levels, We got a letter today and the consultant informs us we should receive word of when to expect his operation soon so that's good news... although I think Lee is secretly scared, he's putting on a brave face.
So yeah, I think that's us all updated.. I'll be back tomorrow no doubt, hopefully with pictures of a very pale Lee with a needle in his arm :p


miss bb

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Second Sample

We got a letter from the hospital today to the effect of "unfortunately the results of your second sample test were much the same as the first and so we're inviting you in for blood test" The words had barely registered before my boyfriend was freaking out.. Apparently he is no fan of needles and is now panic stricken at the thought of this test. He got online immediately to ask google why the Doc even wanted a blood sample. Did he think he'd find a way out of it? lol. If we DO get pregnant I'm gonna go through a lot worse than blood tests, and that's if it's a NORMAL pregnancy/conception.. if we get in to IVF he's gonna have to toughen up!
So we both have Friday off and I figure that's as good a time as any. My period is due in like 2 days and despite all odds being against us around this time of the month it's difficult not to be hopeful.. So every month I set myself up for disappointment. The sooner the blood test is done hopefully the sooner the op' is booked in and the sooner we can start seriously TTC is right now we're in a bit of a no-mans-land.
I will of course keep you updated on our progress.. if for no other reason than I think in years to come this will be a great source of reference for me and hopefully others.. You never remember everything froma time like this so it will be great to remember each step and how much we really wanted that baby.

Hope you are all well and for those of you TTC... good luck


miss BB

Saturday, 23 October 2010


Just a heads up for you girls and guys trying to conceive...
If you haven't already signed up you need to check out babycentre!
It's the most addictive info site and forum on the web.. by far!
The girls on there are so supportive and it's a really lovely community to be a part of.


miss bb

sperm tests and the mr & miss average

A healthy male discharges 50 million sperm in a single ejaculation. During sexual intercourse, of all those millions of sperm, only a couple hundred will make it to a mature egg that is ready to be fertilized.

As previously disclosed the average per 1ml should contain around 20 million sperm but we're working with less than 3.. hmm.
When faced with this information where do you go next? The internet!
The internet is everyones favourite research department.. It can generally tell you whatever you need to know in a matter of moments but when it comes to fertility you never quite get a straight answer.
Every site tells you different facts and figures and those that do match up are vague at best. I've come to the conclusion nobody really knows how a sperm goes on to fertilise an egg.. I think if they were honest, even the scientists are baffled. Yes maybe they can do it in a petri dish but nobody give a definitive answet why some sperm can get to the egg and conceive a baby and some can't.
There are lots of theories... "well this can affect and that doesn't help... buy this contraption and you'll be pregnant within a month... or you won't, no promises" nobody really knows do they.
Doctors tell men and women all over the world they have little to no chance of having children and they go on to have a whole brood.
So when you're told you have fertility issues what are actually supposed to do? How are you supposed to feel?
It's been a couple of weeks since our appointment with the consultant now and I've tried to put babies out of my mind, concentrating on other things but you can't make plans when you're trying to conceive ... I can't plan a holiday in 6 months time... I may not be able to fly let alone wear a bikini... what now?

I haven't reached a conclusion yet but I thought I'd leave you all with some facts and figures of my own
Ones of course I've borrowed from other sources

  • One study showed that geographic location influenced average sperm count. Men in New York City had higher sperm counts than men in Los Angeles. (Whether a man's sperm count will increase should he move from L.A. to the Big Apple is not clear, however.)

  • Humans are among the least fertile of any species on earth. Pregnancy is a result of a complex combination of factors and events. When trying to have a baby, the chances of conception in any month of unprotected intercourse are just 20%

  • Studies show that about 40% of infertility cases are caused by female factors, 40% by male factors and 20% by a combination of both

  • Sperm can live in the female reproductive tract for up to three days after intercourse, so having sex every day, or even on ovulation day, is not necessary. What is critical is knowing when you are fertile. According to data from the AIA, 20 percent of couples seeking infertility treatment are not timing intercourse correctly.


Thursday, 7 October 2010

Fertility Issues

Ok... so I intended on using this blog once I was pregnant... maybe that's not gonna happen so soon but it WILL happen... so... I shall use this for my TTC blogs while I'm waiting and leave the title as a hopeful nod to the fertility gods :))) *wink* *nudge*
So.. I said I would tell you all what's going on and I shall..
We discovered about a month or so ago that Lee had what they call a Varicocele!
In a nutshell it's a varicose vein in the testicle that can block off sperm and decrease fertility.
Reason I didn't want to Vlog about this is I have young viewers, it's a bit of a sensetive subject and I warned you of this... If younger viewers want to read this that's fine but I could do without haters telling me I'm being inappropriate and I feel more comfortable talking to you all about this via my blog than my channel... it's a little personal after all!
I've pulled a wikipedia link on Varicocele if you wanna swat up... here it is
Basically an average mans sperm count per ml should be 20million and currently we're looking an 2.7million..
not high!
What's so bad is we went to the GP and they told us the results were back and they were fine
We went to see a consultant and he told him not only were they far from fine but he's going to have to have a small operation!!!
It's an overnight job and shouldn't be too invasive a procedure but It's not great is it?
We're looking at 4-6 months until the op makes a different to sperm production so I'm pretty much giving up on trying for 6 months... we still will "try" I just don't intend on beating myself up about it and getting upset every month when I'm not pregnant.
If it happens, fabulous, if it doesn't, I'll have expected as much!
That's where we are right now,
That's why I haven't updated you coz I didn't really know what was going on.
It kinda sucks but hey hey what will be will be and I know we'll have kids... it just might take a little longer!

Thanks for reading and if you wanna keep up to date on our TTC journey hit "follow"
I'm likely to update this blog more that video logs just because of this issue...
I will VLOG soon as I get my big fat positive though don't you worry!

Love you guys
Your love and support never goes unappreciated


Miss BB

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

My Pregnancy Plan

This blog will be reserved for the day of my elusive BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!
I am so very sure this day will come that I am preparing this blog in readiness...

watch this space

miss bb

***in the meantime watch me on youtube***
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