Symptom Spotting Again...

I know, I know, I shouldn't even let myself think it but I feel like maybe I just could be. I have my usual pre-period symptoms but way early. My boobs got sore pretty much 2 days after ovulation and they have just got worse and worse ... they must be like a cup size bigger it's ridiculous... I'm small chested and it HURTS to run downstairs!!?? I have also been mega nauseous since maybe Friday. Every time I've felt sick I've been able to explain it away, I hadn't eaten, I'd looked at my phone in the car (travel sick), maybe I've had too much sugar? But enough is enough every day I've had waves of nausea and yes I've felt sick before and not been pregnant but I can't help but wonder. My periods are kind of erratic now... they used to be Weds/Thurs every month but a month or so back I got in on Sunday, then the Saturday so now I'm never sure when to expect it. 

This is frustrating as I never know if I'm late. I'm always tempted to rush out and buy a test but I have to keep in mind that there's no point testing until I KNOW I'm late.. I'll still be pregnant if I hang on a week and I wont have wasted £10 on a hunch. Before I used to try and beat my period... like I had to do a test before it came, while I could still have hope, it was really stupid. I like those days just before where you think you could be but if I psych myself up too much when Aunt Flow finally arrives I am devastated. 

This month it's fallen on our holiday... of course! We are going to disneyland on Sunday, staying over in London on Saturday and coming home next Wednesday so knowing my luck it'll fall Sunday - but then I keep thinking if it doesn't arrive I'll be on holiday dying to do a test and what if I do a foreign test and it's a false positive and I'm all happy and what not (we're going with my parents too so the announcement would not be delayed) and then it turns out when I get home I'm not pregnant at all.

Ugh! That's my little rant out of the way... A little peek inside my cluttered mind, if you will. 

I hope it comes early and I can just get it out of the way this month. 

On another note in 2 days we have Lee's hospital appointment. We still don't know exactly why or what they are looking for, if anything, but I'm eager to get more information and hopefully the results of his previous Varicocele op... even if it's bad news I would just rather know at this point.

Well... thanks for listening... will update when there's an update to be updated upon... off to paint my nails...