I feel terrible for saying this but shall all the same.. This month when I wasn't pregnant (again) I felt nothing. I felt no sadness like previous months, I felt no frustration, I felt quite the opposite.. I felt RELIEVED!
Why? I really can't tell you. I don't know if I am just numb to the disappointment now or something is a miss but I'm just okay about. Lee is still awaiting his test results and I've adopted a very "what will be will be" attitude about the whole conception deal. Do I still want a baby? Why am I feeling like this? Maybe I'm scared, there are so many celebs losing babys late in the game recently it's scared me a little I must admit.. it's out there in the press all the time now, it's enough to scare anyone off pregnancy I guess.
I'm just putting my feelings out there in to the cosmic babymaking community .. I don't know what it means but as soon as I do.. you'll be the first to know.
Still trying...
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