Tuesday, 21 February 2012

The Mummy Mafia

Prepare yourself for a monster post on a topic I don't usually blog about. It's not about Milo or even babies.. it's about the bullies that are waiting for you at the school gates when you least expect them!

I didn't have he easiest time at school. I wasn't very 'popular' but i wasn't a 'geek' or a 'rebel' either, my friends and I of sat in a kind of in-between group. I was bullied for most of my school life in some way shape or form, sometimes it was as trivia and sometimes it really wasn't. Because of this I couldn't wait to escape in to the real (working) world as soon as possible. So when I left school at 16 I thought I was leaving all those girls behind me and for nearly 10 years I did. Yes I encountered the odd bitchy co-worker but they're usually universally disliked and a good source of gossip and boding between the other, more normal colleagues. Not until Ella went to School did I realise where they'd all been hiding. 

Given that I had Ella at 19 I had anticipated all of the other Mums to be older than me but where we live it's a nice (read posh - we rent) area and it would seem that they are the kind of folks that got their lives together and were financially secure before having kids. This means that they are all well in to their 30s, some pushing 40 (or already there) and practically a totally different generation. So for the first year of Ella's school life I was ignored. I didn't do a lot of picking up and dropping off as I was working full time but still when I waited there amongst the chatting masses nobody said a word to me. When I was visibly pregnant people started to strike up conversations. I'm not sure if they thought it was more acceptable or if they had found their ice breaker but suddenly everyone was interested and you can only imagine once Milo was born.. I had a new posse of "friends". 

So morning and afternoon I would rock up at school and make mundane small talk with women I had nothing in common with and I felt oddly accepted. Ella had play dates and I even agreed to take one girl to school once a week to help out a working Mum who was pushed for a baby sitter. I offered.. I didn't have to but I did. I should probably mention at this point that said little girl is not a nice little girl. She has been a thorn in my side since they first started in September 2010. There's quite a back story but in a nutshell I requested Ella be moved classes before the start of the last school year to avoid them socialising. We've all known a girl like her, they don't change and unfortunately for Ella chances are she will know her for at least another 10 years. The classes remained and bizarrely the two of them became friends so I thought I'd give the kid another chance. I was wrong. 

One day a couple of weeks ago Ella came out of school in tears telling me this child had been picking on her. WELL... pissed off is not the word! That very morning she had sat at my kitchen table eating breakfast with my family and then she has the audacity to be unkind to my daughter? I don't think so! This behaviour had been going on for a very long time and I had held my tongue hoping Ella would stand up for herself and be more assertive but I could hold my tongue no more. I laid in to the kid (not physically of course, I was more than arms length away) I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate her bullying Ella any longer, that she wouldn't like it if the situation was reversed and that I was wholly disappointed given that I'd taken her to school that day, I was doing her mum a favour!

What I said I said in front of a huge group of parents, It was nothing I wouldn't say again and I did not shout. I may have been a touch menacing in my tone but rest assured... that was intentional!

I left, furious and stormed home. Moments later the child's Dad appears on my doorstep giving me what for. He tells me his daughter is upset and that other parents were asking what she had done. This man came to me angry I had disciplined his daughter (his job by the way) and he left telling me that they didn't know what they were going to do with her. He knew within 5 minutes that she was wrong and I was defending my child. That was the day before half term.

I turned up yesterday morning (first day of term) to be frozen out by every parent in that playground. The Mummy Mafia. What behaviour is that for "adults"? What hope do these peoples children have of growing up to be mature and well rounded with parents like that? I may have flown off the handle but I was teaching my daughter to stand up for what's right and not to put up with someone picking on you. What they are doing now is setting a far worse example. Ella tells me that she and the girl are friends again now and that's fine (though I'd rather they weren't) but the girl cowers behind her Mum when she sees me. Is it terrible that I'm pleased? 

As long as she's scared of me she won't dare be mean to Ella and although my intention wasn't to scare her if that's the outcome.. I'm okay with it! The Playground Politics will continue I'm sure but being a grown up I am equipped to deal with bullies better than my 6 year old so rather me than her!

I guess I'll have another chance at being the 'good parent' when Milo starts school rather than a social pariah/loose Canon Mother that everyone freezes out!

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Milo's First Laugh

Milo laughed for the first time less than an hour ago and I couldn't wait to share it with you...

Miss BB

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

3 Months Old

Time flies when you're sleep deprived! 3 months old our little man and he's caused some serious havoc this month. Many nights sitting up at 4am when he decides he's had enough sleep, serious issues with wind and reflux.. I really cannot get puked on enough.. its great! And we've finally given in and started trying to wean. I know it's a month too soon but who are these people that say when is right? This kid cannot get enough food, he is ALWAYS hungry so I figured it was time. He's not loving it yet but we're taking it slow so that hopefully by the time he's 'officially' allowed baby food he will be ready for it. He also moved in to his big cot in his own room this month which was a massive turning point for us. Even when he's up in the night I almost feel like I'm getting too much sleep compared to the first 8 weeks of his life! This week he slept his first 9 hours (totally one off by the way) which was of course fantastic and I've started the "controlled crying" when he wont settle which seems to be working well. I leave him for 10 minutes, go back to settle him without lifting him out of his cot then leave him for 20 minutes.. I've never had to go back a second time yet so I'm hopeful that this method will be more effective having started early. Ella was an absolute terror at night until she was almost 5 so I am very aware that I do not want a repeat of that with Milo.

He is starting to roll but doesn't get much time of his back as he's always in his bouncer or being held but in his cot he often rolls on to his side while wriggling around. I keep meaning to get him a play mat.. I think developmentally he would really benefit from more floor time. His legs are still so strong, always pushing to stand and stamping his feet he's even taking 'steps' which I'm yet to capture on film but will blog about separately as I managed to get a few photos. And Milos third month also brought him his first snow just in time for Mummys birthday so that was nice. 
He's still a very wingey baby and always fidgeting, we think it's due to his colic and reflux issues but Lee is convinced he may be having issues with his milk. I'm considering a call to the health visitor to see if there's any advice they can give on other feeding options. I'll be keeping quiet about the early weaning though.. they're uber strict round here! I think That's about it for this month. I'm going to get out Ella's progress books and see what she was doing at this age.. will be interesting to compare and if there's anything good I will of course share with you all.
I'm really hoping that the fourth month update will bring happy news about sleeping through the night and self soothing but I'm a realist and am just happy to have this little bundle happy and well.


Miss BB

Friday, 3 February 2012

Look Who's Eating Food!

Ok so maybe he's not TECHNICALLY supposed to be trying baby food for another month but he is just SO hungry! He's already taking as much milk as his bottle will hold and we're still having night feeds because it's just not filling him up. Last night we decided to give baby rice a go. There's a lot of conflicting opinions online as to whether it's safe to put this in their bottle or not - for those unfamiliar with the product its very finely milled powder.. not rice-like or lumpy at all - but I am in the 'not risking it' camp so we spoon-fed him. I made it super milky, not much powder at all.. it's his first time after all! He wasn't keen on the spoon and for the most part what I did get in his mouth he either spat out or just left it there unsure what to do with it. I can't imagine what a surreal experience it must be for a baby but today I have given him a spoon to play with in the hope he'll get used to it and our next attempt will be more successful. He seems to like it and managing to grab the spoon and locate his mouth is a big milestone for little baby M!

Miss BB
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