Vlogging...

Some of you may be unaware how long I've been TTC.. you may also not now I have been vlogging about it for quite some time. I recently dedicated a channel to those vlogs to stop bombarding beauty addicts with my plight but not many people have seen them so... here's a recap for those of you obviously interested people that might want to see how the journey began and my hair of many colours.. LOL...

If your a youtube inclined kinda person why not hop over to my channel and subscribe to get my video updates that don't go up here...

My YouTube

Thanks for watching, following me and generally being the most supportive people I could hope for :)

Relief

I feel terrible for saying this but shall all the same.. This month when I wasn't pregnant (again) I felt nothing. I felt no sadness like previous months, I felt no frustration, I felt quite the opposite.. I felt RELIEVED!

Why? I really can't tell you. I don't know if I am just numb to the disappointment now or something is a miss but I'm just okay about. Lee is still awaiting his test results and I've adopted a very "what will be will be" attitude about the whole conception deal. Do I still want a baby? Why am I feeling like this? Maybe I'm scared, there are so many celebs losing babys late in the game recently it's scared me a little I must admit.. it's out there in the press all the time now, it's enough to scare anyone off pregnancy I guess.

I'm just putting my feelings out there in to the cosmic babymaking community .. I don't know what it means but as soon as I do.. you'll be the first to know.

Still trying...