Symptom Spotting Again...

I know, I know, I shouldn't even let myself think it but I feel like maybe I just could be. I have my usual pre-period symptoms but way early. My boobs got sore pretty much 2 days after ovulation and they have just got worse and worse ... they must be like a cup size bigger it's ridiculous... I'm small chested and it HURTS to run downstairs!!?? I have also been mega nauseous since maybe Friday. Every time I've felt sick I've been able to explain it away, I hadn't eaten, I'd looked at my phone in the car (travel sick), maybe I've had too much sugar? But enough is enough every day I've had waves of nausea and yes I've felt sick before and not been pregnant but I can't help but wonder. My periods are kind of erratic now... they used to be Weds/Thurs every month but a month or so back I got in on Sunday, then the Saturday so now I'm never sure when to expect it. 

This is frustrating as I never know if I'm late. I'm always tempted to rush out and buy a test but I have to keep in mind that there's no point testing until I KNOW I'm late.. I'll still be pregnant if I hang on a week and I wont have wasted £10 on a hunch. Before I used to try and beat my period... like I had to do a test before it came, while I could still have hope, it was really stupid. I like those days just before where you think you could be but if I psych myself up too much when Aunt Flow finally arrives I am devastated. 

This month it's fallen on our holiday... of course! We are going to disneyland on Sunday, staying over in London on Saturday and coming home next Wednesday so knowing my luck it'll fall Sunday - but then I keep thinking if it doesn't arrive I'll be on holiday dying to do a test and what if I do a foreign test and it's a false positive and I'm all happy and what not (we're going with my parents too so the announcement would not be delayed) and then it turns out when I get home I'm not pregnant at all.

Ugh! That's my little rant out of the way... A little peek inside my cluttered mind, if you will. 

I hope it comes early and I can just get it out of the way this month. 

On another note in 2 days we have Lee's hospital appointment. We still don't know exactly why or what they are looking for, if anything, but I'm eager to get more information and hopefully the results of his previous Varicocele op... even if it's bad news I would just rather know at this point.

Well... thanks for listening... will update when there's an update to be updated upon... off to paint my nails...

How Much is Too Much?

I'm often researching online the best ways to aid pregnancy. I've found articles about everything from special cooling boxer shorts to different positions that are supposedly best for conception.

Every site gives different opinions, each has different advice so what really is for the best?

The main query I have right now is how often we should "try".. So I left Lee home one Saturday whilst I was working and gave him the job of finding this out.. This was my first mistake. Whether he actually looked it up or not I will never know because his answer was of course going to be "as often as possible" no matter what the experts said. I decided I would look into it myself and I discovered that nobody has any idea. You would think that the "as often as possible" theory is probably accurate after all but when supplying a sample for testing you have to abstain for 48 hours... why is this? If regular sex doesn't affect the quality of his sperm then why the abstinence? I have read that there is some merit to "keeping the river flowing" ... Some studies have shown that daily ejaculation may improve sperm quality... 118 men were included in a 2009 study and that's what they come up with? it MAY improve? According to BabyMed.com couples who were trying to conceive were previously told to have sex every other day but are now being told that every day is more effective... if his sperm is ok. So maybe that's why I'm so confused. In those " rare circumstances" where the man does not have enough sperm the every other day rule still applies. ugh! Right now we don't know if the Varicocele Embolisation worked. He has another test booked in for mid February so we shouldn't have much longer to wait. It will be 3 months since the procedure and they say it takes 3-6 months to take effect. Right now I guess I don't know what group we fall in to... during fertile days, every day or every other day? The waiting and the not knowing really can drive you crazy but at least the tests give us a little goal post. I can't help but wonder what we will do if all is not well. I assume that the embolisation will of course have worked  but if it hasn't.. well.. it doesn't bare thinking about right now. I am in my ovulation period right now and so will once again be in my 2 week wait very soon. As always I will keep you posted and if I do get any great news you will be the first to know :)

xoxo

miss bb

To Hospital We Go...

So today was the fateful day, Lee went in for his Varicocele embolisation...

he was understandably nervous, they were going to put several coils in his scrotum :p

His wristband... note the date :)nice keepsake
In this stylish robe waiting to go in..
They took him away in his bed and he was away nearly an hour and a half for what should have been a 10/15 min operation, I was a touch worried!... I was alone in his empty room..
Lee after the procedure.. He was right as rain, nothing to worry about!
To the extent we went out to dinner when he got out (note the wristband) lol
That was our day! I will do a more comprehensive post when we know more but right now all we know is that 4 platinum coils were inserted into veins in his abdomen to clot the blood and prevent too much getting to the varicocele which would in turn overheat the sperm!! All a bit technical but it can take 3-6 month to work so only time will tell! 

xoxo

Miss BB

Op's Booked - Christmas Conception?

So we got the letter through the other day and Lee's Op is booked for Friday 12/11

He's obviously nervous but having looked at the alternative he is relieved its the embolization as opposed to the actual repair surgery he is having.

For those wondering what the hell a varicocele embolization is here's a snippet I stole from somewhere..

"Varicocele embolization is an image-guided procedure that uses a catheter to place a tiny coil and/or embolic fluid in a blood vessel to divert blood flow away from a varicocele.

A varicocele vein is an enlarged and lengthened vein in a man’s scrotum. It can cause pain, swelling and infertility. Varicocele embolization safely relieves that pain and swelling and may improve sperm quality for infertile couples."

It's a pretty straightforward procedure that's not very invasive and shouldn't require an overnight stay but he will be under "twilight sedation" which he's very excited about (he thinks he's gonna turn in to R-Patz lol) which apparently causes a kind of amnesia so you don't remember the procedure.. freaky right?

Anywho, he's in at 12 on Friday and hopefully I'll be able to get off work to go with him.

fingers crossed all goes as planned, we've done a little research and forum hopping and most people have had really great experiences.. pregnant within 2 months etc. The doc advised that it can take up to 6 months to start working so I'm trying not to get my hopes up but we could be looking at a Christmas conception?

A little baby Noel? Holly?

You never know!

Will keep you guys posted

xoxo

miss bb

Fertility Issues

Ok... so I intended on using this blog once I was pregnant... maybe that's not gonna happen so soon but it WILL happen... so... I shall use this for my TTC blogs while I'm waiting and leave the title as a hopeful nod to the fertility gods :))) *wink* *nudge*
So.. I said I would tell you all what's going on and I shall..
We discovered about a month or so ago that Lee had what they call a Varicocele!
In a nutshell it's a varicose vein in the testicle that can block off sperm and decrease fertility.
Reason I didn't want to Vlog about this is I have young viewers, it's a bit of a sensetive subject and I warned you of this... If younger viewers want to read this that's fine but I could do without haters telling me I'm being inappropriate and I feel more comfortable talking to you all about this via my blog than my channel... it's a little personal after all!
I've pulled a wikipedia link on Varicocele if you wanna swat up... here it is
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicocele
Basically an average mans sperm count per ml should be 20million and currently we're looking an 2.7million..
not high!
What's so bad is we went to the GP and they told us the results were back and they were fine
We went to see a consultant and he told him not only were they far from fine but he's going to have to have a small operation!!!
It's an overnight job and shouldn't be too invasive a procedure but It's not great is it?
We're looking at 4-6 months until the op makes a different to sperm production so I'm pretty much giving up on trying for 6 months... we still will "try" I just don't intend on beating myself up about it and getting upset every month when I'm not pregnant.
If it happens, fabulous, if it doesn't, I'll have expected as much!
So..
That's where we are right now,
That's why I haven't updated you coz I didn't really know what was going on.
It kinda sucks but hey hey what will be will be and I know we'll have kids... it just might take a little longer!

Thanks for reading and if you wanna keep up to date on our TTC journey hit "follow"
I'm likely to update this blog more that video logs just because of this issue...
I will VLOG soon as I get my big fat positive though don't you worry!

Love you guys
Your love and support never goes unappreciated

xoxo

Miss BB