Making Milo Laugh

Another video of Milo playing with his sister, Ella.

Miss BB

The Mummy Mafia

Prepare yourself for a monster post on a topic I don't usually blog about. It's not about Milo or even babies.. it's about the bullies that are waiting for you at the school gates when you least expect them!

I didn't have he easiest time at school. I wasn't very 'popular' but i wasn't a 'geek' or a 'rebel' either, my friends and I of sat in a kind of in-between group. I was bullied for most of my school life in some way shape or form, sometimes it was as trivia and sometimes it really wasn't. Because of this I couldn't wait to escape in to the real (working) world as soon as possible. So when I left school at 16 I thought I was leaving all those girls behind me and for nearly 10 years I did. Yes I encountered the odd bitchy co-worker but they're usually universally disliked and a good source of gossip and boding between the other, more normal colleagues. Not until Ella went to School did I realise where they'd all been hiding. 

Given that I had Ella at 19 I had anticipated all of the other Mums to be older than me but where we live it's a nice (read posh - we rent) area and it would seem that they are the kind of folks that got their lives together and were financially secure before having kids. This means that they are all well in to their 30s, some pushing 40 (or already there) and practically a totally different generation. So for the first year of Ella's school life I was ignored. I didn't do a lot of picking up and dropping off as I was working full time but still when I waited there amongst the chatting masses nobody said a word to me. When I was visibly pregnant people started to strike up conversations. I'm not sure if they thought it was more acceptable or if they had found their ice breaker but suddenly everyone was interested and you can only imagine once Milo was born.. I had a new posse of "friends". 

So morning and afternoon I would rock up at school and make mundane small talk with women I had nothing in common with and I felt oddly accepted. Ella had play dates and I even agreed to take one girl to school once a week to help out a working Mum who was pushed for a baby sitter. I offered.. I didn't have to but I did. I should probably mention at this point that said little girl is not a nice little girl. She has been a thorn in my side since they first started in September 2010. There's quite a back story but in a nutshell I requested Ella be moved classes before the start of the last school year to avoid them socialising. We've all known a girl like her, they don't change and unfortunately for Ella chances are she will know her for at least another 10 years. The classes remained and bizarrely the two of them became friends so I thought I'd give the kid another chance. I was wrong. 

One day a couple of weeks ago Ella came out of school in tears telling me this child had been picking on her. WELL... pissed off is not the word! That very morning she had sat at my kitchen table eating breakfast with my family and then she has the audacity to be unkind to my daughter? I don't think so! This behaviour had been going on for a very long time and I had held my tongue hoping Ella would stand up for herself and be more assertive but I could hold my tongue no more. I laid in to the kid (not physically of course, I was more than arms length away) I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate her bullying Ella any longer, that she wouldn't like it if the situation was reversed and that I was wholly disappointed given that I'd taken her to school that day, I was doing her mum a favour!

What I said I said in front of a huge group of parents, It was nothing I wouldn't say again and I did not shout. I may have been a touch menacing in my tone but rest assured... that was intentional!

I left, furious and stormed home. Moments later the child's Dad appears on my doorstep giving me what for. He tells me his daughter is upset and that other parents were asking what she had done. This man came to me angry I had disciplined his daughter (his job by the way) and he left telling me that they didn't know what they were going to do with her. He knew within 5 minutes that she was wrong and I was defending my child. That was the day before half term.

I turned up yesterday morning (first day of term) to be frozen out by every parent in that playground. The Mummy Mafia. What behaviour is that for "adults"? What hope do these peoples children have of growing up to be mature and well rounded with parents like that? I may have flown off the handle but I was teaching my daughter to stand up for what's right and not to put up with someone picking on you. What they are doing now is setting a far worse example. Ella tells me that she and the girl are friends again now and that's fine (though I'd rather they weren't) but the girl cowers behind her Mum when she sees me. Is it terrible that I'm pleased? 

As long as she's scared of me she won't dare be mean to Ella and although my intention wasn't to scare her if that's the outcome.. I'm okay with it! The Playground Politics will continue I'm sure but being a grown up I am equipped to deal with bullies better than my 6 year old so rather me than her!

I guess I'll have another chance at being the 'good parent' when Milo starts school rather than a social pariah/loose Canon Mother that everyone freezes out!

2 Months Old

 

 2 months old? Already? I don't like this one bit! 

As you know Milo has suffered with colic and acid reflux. He's still not great and his sleeping is hit and miss but we do get the occasional good nights sleep (by current standards). In the last month he has been pushing himself up to stand against up , grabbing everything he can and is finally enjoying bath time. To soothe him we often use white noise such as the hairdryer.. in fact as I type this he is being lulled to sleep by a genius app playing him the sounds of a doppler.. what will they think of next? He is consistently taking 6oz bottles and is hungry all the time.. I can't wait to wean him on to solids.. I'm sure that will be the key to him sleeping through the night. He's just a very hungry boy. Ella absolutely loves him, she has infinite patience when we have none and will sing to him even when he is screaming at the top of his lungs. He's a serious headbutter, has been since he was born but recently he seems to have motive... he split my lip the other day.. I'm still not sure what I did to deserve it. I'm considering putting him in his own room.. everyone else seems to think it a great idea as he's a fidgety sleeper and I get him up when perhaps he would have slept through had i not heard him. I'm just not quite ready to let go.. he's too lickle!! Everyone is getting regular smiles now which makes his screaming fits a lot more tolerable.. it's very hard to stay made at him when he's so very cute. his eyes are still very blue. Brown is the norm for my family but Lee has green eyes.. they can take up to 6 months apparently to be the colour they will be forever but I'm hoping for green.. he already looks so much like his Dad I'd be really surprised if he didn't get that from him too. 

Overall month 2 has been the hardest so far and I'd really like it to remain that way. He will be teething before we know it and I'd like a little respite before then. My Mum has kindly offered to take him off our hands every Friday (thanks Mum) which we obviously jumped at so we do get one unbroken night of sleep a week and in all honesty I don't know how I'd survive without it. Lee's a huge help but I don't like him to do too much during the week as he works long hours and that's the whole point of maternity leave, isn't it? I know he feels like he should be doing more though which is tough for him. Hopefully Milo will get easier soon so life can get one step closer to normal again.

Miss BB

Merry Christmas From Milo

Can you even believe it's Christmas Eve??? Tomorrow will be my little boys first Christmas! Ella is understandably excited for Santa's visit and I for one can't wait to see what he brings them ;)

Last night they stayed away for the first time together at my parents house while we went out with friends for a meal and drinks. Milo has been so colicky recently I really needed a full nights sleep. I have been filming daily vlogs throughout december and was shocked to see how tired I look. I definitely needed to catch up on some beauty sleep. I've also seen Milo deteriorate to the point where he was diagnosed with reflux.. I'll blog about that in his 6 week update post on Tuesday! For now I'll wish you all a very Merry Christmas from Milo and our whole gang. Already excited for New Years!

Miss BB

48hrs With Milo

20 minutes old, here is in "recovery" after the c-section and before we got back on the ward.

Big sister Ella was very much enamoured of the little guy.

Here she is demonstrating how she could sleep in hospital with me and cuddle him all night.

Grandma was quite taken with him too.

Night time cuddles from Mummy.. still only hours old.. he doesn't look brand new, does he?

Daddy's turn

One day old and POOPED!

Just less than 2 days old and ready to go home.

Slept through his first car journey but was bewildered when he woke up somewhere new.

First bath... not his favourite thing so far

"What was that all about then?"

In his hand-me-down dressing gown from Ella, ready for his first night at home.

He's only been here a minute and I can't remember life without him

Miss BB

Sibling Rivalry

I have worried for a while about how Ella will cope with the change in our family dynamic when baby arrives. She has been back and forth between really excited, wanting to be the grown up big sister and being less interested, almost regressing back to baby-hood herself.
I have thought all along that Lee is going to have a harder time of it than me but he has always disagreed. I am her Mum after all so he assumes she "loves me more" but he doesn't understand. To Ella she's never known anything other than a Mum and Dad and a Stepdad. He's as much her parent as I am. If anything it will be worse for her with him when baby comes along because he's her Stepdad. I don't think it's about her preferences I think she's a smart kid and right now she knows she's the closest thing he's got to a child but once the baby comes along that wont be the case anymore. If you were Ella would you not feel threatened by the arrival of a biological child? I liken it to a family that has adopted and goes on to have a child of their own, that adopted child is going to feel a completely different kind of jealousy and resentment.
Ella knows I am her Mum ans I am going to be Milo's Mum too but Lee is going to be this baby's real Dad and even at 6 she knows there's a difference.
I really don't know how to reassure her without making a big issue of it but have suggested that we each have an activity we do with Ella alone and then perhaps a film night once a week when the baby is in bed and she can stay up late. It's a very tricky situation for any family but possibly more complicated still for a "blended" family such as ours. I'm sure we will manage but I wanted to share my thoughts in the hope it would open a discussion among you who have an opinion or have even experienced a similar situation.
This evening Lee told me he finally believes I could be right about her jealousy focusing on him. Ella has always been very affectionate towards him and to anyone watching them together you can see how much she loves him but she's never been overly vocal about her feelings to him. Apparently while I was out of the room today and they were cuddling on the sofa, as they do, she turned to him and said "I like you". Given the amount of time we have been a family unit it may seem like a strange thing for her to say but I think the timing tells us she just wants to make sure he knows.
I've heard her say she loves him before but smart as she is we always suspect she is after something, on this occasion there were no follow up requests, just a spur of the moment expression of fondness.
I hope the solo to sibling transition is smooth. I know that my daughter is loving and kind natured, a big part of me thinks I have nothing to worry about, she will be a big help to us and the perfect big sister but she is still my baby and I want to do everything I can to ensure she feels loved and part of our new family.

Lee wrote a post about Step-parenting, you can see it here

Ella's Olive Branch

Ella holed herself away this afternoon in the dining room with her pencils and I'll admit we were both intrigued as to what she was doing as she was gone a while but when she emerged with this I was touched.

I've never thought she resented the baby but I have worried (as you would) that she may be jealous when he arrives. We've spent a lot of time talking baby recently as my pregnancy is nearing an end and I've felt a change in her. She's becoming more clingy and almost regressing, wanting to be baby again. I have tried to dial down the baby but it's hard so I was really pleased when she presented me with this.

Earlier she had come to me and asked for help spelling some words (don't think she's a Mensa class 6 year old, she did have a little help) but I wasn't sure what she was doing. Basically she's explained to me that it's an "article book" which I will have to write in because the baby can't. I think it's meant to be kind of like a diary but really.. only Ella knows. I really like how she's even lined the pages to be written on... that's attention to detail right there! Not to mention his name on the back cover.. spelt Milow.. awww! and a little love heart! So maybe she wont hate her baby brother after all. It's a legitimate worry I imagine most parents have when introducing another sibling, I may have to dedicate a whole post to it but in the meantime I'm feeling much more comfortable already.

let's have a close up on that shall we?

Awww!

Ella Explains It All

you absolutely have to watch these... priceless!