Another Month... Another No...

So it turns out it was  just wishful thinking as Aunt Flow arrived just days after my last post :(
What was so odd was that she arrived almost a week early which is totally unheard of..
When something like that occurs I always think... maybe it's a symptom! Oh I am hopeless being so hopeful. It does me no good at all. I am ordering some ovulation predictor tests right now on trusty eBay so this month will be our first real go since the suregery.
I don't know if it can have worked it's magic yet but if it has we have a real chance of getting pregnant before Christmas. It wont be the end of the world if we don't and the longer it takes the less pressure there is to get divorced/get married asap but still...
It sucks waiting! As always, I'll keep you posted...

xoxo

miss bb

Bood Tests and Bad Days

Of all the bad days there have been recently... this has to be one of the worst!

It pretty much all round sucked.

I popped into work on my day off for a mandatory meeting where we were all informed our contract was ending and we will all be out of a job in 4 weeks time.. great!

My period was a day or two late... I took the test yesterday but couldn't help but remain hopeful... mistake!

I got the work and had a cuppa on an empty stomach which on occasion has made me nauseous but never sick. On this occasion I was... in the middle of the meeting where we all got our notice I had to run out to throw up. So there I am thinking OMG I could actually be pregnant when in fact it was just a mixture of the tea and stress. I feel worse today than ever. My period came OF COURSE...

ugh!

anyway...

prior to all that drama we went to the hospital to get Lees bloods checked..

Can I get an "Aww" ?

Bless him, he was a nervous wreck! But the nurse was a pro and he's since said he would give blood if he got a biscuit out of it LOL. I love him for going through this stuff without complaint so far.

As soon as we have the results (hopefully early next week) I will update you all.. in the meantime.. I'm not pregnant and in 4 weeks I'll be blogging full time :p

xoxo

miss bb

Why do I do it?

Why do I do these things to myself?

My Period was due today (tmi? sorry but you can expect that kinda thing here) It's ALWAYS here by Thursday... ALWAYS!! Occasionally it may arrive unannounced on a Wednesday but it's NEVER late!

SO... It got to around 7pm and I'm thinking.. I could be.. it's not completely out of the realm of possibility is it? There's always a chance I could get pregnant right? I mean it only takes 1 sperm and 1 egg..

So around this day every month I feel that rush of hope, I love this time for that reason but hate it for the disappointment that inevitably follows. I always feel the symptoms :-

• sore boobs
• nausea
• menstraul cramps I believe to be "implantation pains"
• increased appetite
• always tired

The list could go on! I convince myself I'm pregnant every month.. every month the day my period is due I take a test... every month my period arrives later that same day. Today (so far) is different. It's 00.47 the following morning (late night) and Aunt Flow is still yet to arrive. At this point I am almost missing her...

Once I know I'm not pregnant I'd just rather get it out of the way. I'm lucky and she normally only visits for 3 days but always over a weekend when I have plans... bitch!

In all honesty if I knew I could get pregnant at the touch of a button I would probably wait a couple of months, maybe 'til we were married.. but knowing we are sure to have more fertility issues down the road I can't lose that time.. and it's not like I'd be disappointed if I fell pregnant now, I'd be over the moon.. just could be better timing. I'm hoping that our run of bad luck will work in our favour and it will finally happen in the most inconvenient month.. I'd take that kind of bad luck any day of the week!!

Anywho... We have to be up early to go to the hospital for Lee's blood tests.

Apparently they are testing for testosterone levels, We got a letter today and the consultant informs us we should receive word of when to expect his operation soon so that's good news... although I think Lee is secretly scared, he's putting on a brave face.

So yeah, I think that's us all updated.. I'll be back tomorrow no doubt, hopefully with pictures of a very pale Lee with a needle in his arm :p

xoxo

miss bb