It's Only Just Begun

I just edited my "baby break" video to upload to my beauty channel. I'd planned to film an explanatory video to put up on my channel page for while I am too busy with baby things to make new videos. It was almost emotional (maybe it was the music I chose for the background) and I just can't believe it's time to upload it. Tomorrow is my last day as a mother of one. Tuesday Milo will arrive and change our family forever. I am excited and scared and overwhelmed.. No matter when or how a baby comes in to your life I don't think you can ever be prepared for it. My mind is buzzing with so many questions, Will he be ok? Will I be ok? What will he look like? What will happen when we bring him home? How will Ella be around him? At the moment I am still very nervous about the surgery and so some of my baby nerves are being pushes aside but every now and then they force themselves back in and I remember... there's going to be a baby here soon. A baby! It feels like the longest time coming but also that time has zoomed away from me. We waited so long to conceive him that it took me a long time to accept he was really coming so my pregnancy has felt lightening fast. I'm growing uncomfortable and am looking forward to getting my body back but I'm not quite ready to not be pregnant yet. I feel like I've only just begun my pregnancy and it's already over. At first I said absolutely no more, I wanted a second child but not a brood and now I'm not so sure. I have the benefit of many child bearing years still lying ahead of me so I can never say never. As I sit in bed, unable to sleep for braxton hicks and fierce baby movements, it would be very sad to think this is the last time I will feel these things. I am so pleased he is coming in such little time but I will miss him when he's gone from me. 

Miss BB