Another Month... Another No...

So it turns out it was  just wishful thinking as Aunt Flow arrived just days after my last post :(
What was so odd was that she arrived almost a week early which is totally unheard of..
When something like that occurs I always think... maybe it's a symptom! Oh I am hopeless being so hopeful. It does me no good at all. I am ordering some ovulation predictor tests right now on trusty eBay so this month will be our first real go since the suregery.
I don't know if it can have worked it's magic yet but if it has we have a real chance of getting pregnant before Christmas. It wont be the end of the world if we don't and the longer it takes the less pressure there is to get divorced/get married asap but still...
It sucks waiting! As always, I'll keep you posted...

xoxo

miss bb

Symptoms?

Is it just wishful thinking or could I be???
I have avoided symptom spotting where possible but some things are toi hard to ignore! Fatigue.. This can be put down to my new job, I'm on my feet all day for long hours.. This could also account for my sudden increased appetite!
But this is a big one,. I get this every month but not as long or as bad... Sore boobs!!! They are KILLING me! I actually woke up last night 'cause they hurt so bad... That has never happened before. So fingers crossed for me but I can't test for another week... Ugh! I hate being hopeful during the two week wait! It sucks when my AF arrives..
I think our best chance will be december, it will be four weeks since Lee's hospital visit so four weeks for that to start working!
Fingers crossed.. But not too crossed... Maybe..

xoxo

Miss BB

To Hospital We Go...

So today was the fateful day, Lee went in for his Varicocele embolisation...

he was understandably nervous, they were going to put several coils in his scrotum :p

His wristband... note the date :)nice keepsake
In this stylish robe waiting to go in..
They took him away in his bed and he was away nearly an hour and a half for what should have been a 10/15 min operation, I was a touch worried!... I was alone in his empty room..
Lee after the procedure.. He was right as rain, nothing to worry about!
To the extent we went out to dinner when he got out (note the wristband) lol
That was our day! I will do a more comprehensive post when we know more but right now all we know is that 4 platinum coils were inserted into veins in his abdomen to clot the blood and prevent too much getting to the varicocele which would in turn overheat the sperm!! All a bit technical but it can take 3-6 month to work so only time will tell! 

xoxo

Miss BB

Op's Booked - Christmas Conception?

So we got the letter through the other day and Lee's Op is booked for Friday 12/11

He's obviously nervous but having looked at the alternative he is relieved its the embolization as opposed to the actual repair surgery he is having.

For those wondering what the hell a varicocele embolization is here's a snippet I stole from somewhere..

"Varicocele embolization is an image-guided procedure that uses a catheter to place a tiny coil and/or embolic fluid in a blood vessel to divert blood flow away from a varicocele.

A varicocele vein is an enlarged and lengthened vein in a man’s scrotum. It can cause pain, swelling and infertility. Varicocele embolization safely relieves that pain and swelling and may improve sperm quality for infertile couples."

It's a pretty straightforward procedure that's not very invasive and shouldn't require an overnight stay but he will be under "twilight sedation" which he's very excited about (he thinks he's gonna turn in to R-Patz lol) which apparently causes a kind of amnesia so you don't remember the procedure.. freaky right?

Anywho, he's in at 12 on Friday and hopefully I'll be able to get off work to go with him.

fingers crossed all goes as planned, we've done a little research and forum hopping and most people have had really great experiences.. pregnant within 2 months etc. The doc advised that it can take up to 6 months to start working so I'm trying not to get my hopes up but we could be looking at a Christmas conception?

A little baby Noel? Holly?

You never know!

Will keep you guys posted

xoxo

miss bb

Bood Tests and Bad Days

Of all the bad days there have been recently... this has to be one of the worst!

It pretty much all round sucked.

I popped into work on my day off for a mandatory meeting where we were all informed our contract was ending and we will all be out of a job in 4 weeks time.. great!

My period was a day or two late... I took the test yesterday but couldn't help but remain hopeful... mistake!

I got the work and had a cuppa on an empty stomach which on occasion has made me nauseous but never sick. On this occasion I was... in the middle of the meeting where we all got our notice I had to run out to throw up. So there I am thinking OMG I could actually be pregnant when in fact it was just a mixture of the tea and stress. I feel worse today than ever. My period came OF COURSE...

ugh!

anyway...

prior to all that drama we went to the hospital to get Lees bloods checked..

Can I get an "Aww" ?

Bless him, he was a nervous wreck! But the nurse was a pro and he's since said he would give blood if he got a biscuit out of it LOL. I love him for going through this stuff without complaint so far.

As soon as we have the results (hopefully early next week) I will update you all.. in the meantime.. I'm not pregnant and in 4 weeks I'll be blogging full time :p

xoxo

miss bb

Why do I do it?

Why do I do these things to myself?

My Period was due today (tmi? sorry but you can expect that kinda thing here) It's ALWAYS here by Thursday... ALWAYS!! Occasionally it may arrive unannounced on a Wednesday but it's NEVER late!

SO... It got to around 7pm and I'm thinking.. I could be.. it's not completely out of the realm of possibility is it? There's always a chance I could get pregnant right? I mean it only takes 1 sperm and 1 egg..

So around this day every month I feel that rush of hope, I love this time for that reason but hate it for the disappointment that inevitably follows. I always feel the symptoms :-

• sore boobs
• nausea
• menstraul cramps I believe to be "implantation pains"
• increased appetite
• always tired

The list could go on! I convince myself I'm pregnant every month.. every month the day my period is due I take a test... every month my period arrives later that same day. Today (so far) is different. It's 00.47 the following morning (late night) and Aunt Flow is still yet to arrive. At this point I am almost missing her...

Once I know I'm not pregnant I'd just rather get it out of the way. I'm lucky and she normally only visits for 3 days but always over a weekend when I have plans... bitch!

In all honesty if I knew I could get pregnant at the touch of a button I would probably wait a couple of months, maybe 'til we were married.. but knowing we are sure to have more fertility issues down the road I can't lose that time.. and it's not like I'd be disappointed if I fell pregnant now, I'd be over the moon.. just could be better timing. I'm hoping that our run of bad luck will work in our favour and it will finally happen in the most inconvenient month.. I'd take that kind of bad luck any day of the week!!

Anywho... We have to be up early to go to the hospital for Lee's blood tests.

Apparently they are testing for testosterone levels, We got a letter today and the consultant informs us we should receive word of when to expect his operation soon so that's good news... although I think Lee is secretly scared, he's putting on a brave face.

So yeah, I think that's us all updated.. I'll be back tomorrow no doubt, hopefully with pictures of a very pale Lee with a needle in his arm :p

xoxo

miss bb

Second Sample

Well...
We got a letter from the hospital today to the effect of "unfortunately the results of your second sample test were much the same as the first and so we're inviting you in for blood test" The words had barely registered before my boyfriend was freaking out.. Apparently he is no fan of needles and is now panic stricken at the thought of this test. He got online immediately to ask google why the Doc even wanted a blood sample. Did he think he'd find a way out of it? lol. If we DO get pregnant I'm gonna go through a lot worse than blood tests, and that's if it's a NORMAL pregnancy/conception.. if we get in to IVF he's gonna have to toughen up!
So we both have Friday off and I figure that's as good a time as any. My period is due in like 2 days and despite all odds being against us around this time of the month it's difficult not to be hopeful.. So every month I set myself up for disappointment. The sooner the blood test is done hopefully the sooner the op' is booked in and the sooner we can start seriously TTC ...as is right now we're in a bit of a no-mans-land.
I will of course keep you updated on our progress.. if for no other reason than I think in years to come this will be a great source of reference for me and hopefully others.. You never remember everything froma time like this so it will be great to remember each step and how much we really wanted that baby.

Hope you are all well and for those of you TTC... good luck

xoxo

miss BB