MissBudgetBaby

Go The F**k To Sleep

2012-02-25T11:19:00.002-08:00

Bad parenting at its best.. I love this!

The Mummy Mafia

2012-02-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

Prepare yourself for a monster post on a topic I don't usually blog about. It's not about Milo or even babies.. it's about the bullies that are waiting for you at the school gates when you least expect them!

I didn't have he easiest time at school. I wasn't very 'popular' but i wasn't a 'geek' or a 'rebel' either, my friends and I of sat in a kind of in-between group. I was bullied for most of my school life in some way shape or form, sometimes it was as trivia and sometimes it really wasn't. Because of this I couldn't wait to escape in to the real (working) world as soon as possible. So when I left school at 16 I thought I was leaving all those girls behind me and for nearly 10 years I did. Yes I encountered the odd bitchy co-worker but they're usually universally disliked and a good source of gossip and boding between the other, more normal colleagues. Not until Ella went to School did I realise where they'd all been hiding.

Given that I had Ella at 19 I had anticipated all of the other Mums to be older than me but where we live it's a nice (read posh - we rent) area and it would seem that they are the kind of folks that got their lives together and were financially secure before having kids. This means that they are all well in to their 30s, some pushing 40 (or already there) and practically a totally different generation. So for the first year of Ella's school life I was ignored. I didn't do a lot of picking up and dropping off as I was working full time but still when I waited there amongst the chatting masses nobody said a word to me. When I was visibly pregnant people started to strike up conversations. I'm not sure if they thought it was more acceptable or if they had found their ice breaker but suddenly everyone was interested and you can only imagine once Milo was born.. I had a new posse of "friends".

So morning and afternoon I would rock up at school and make mundane small talk with women I had nothing in common with and I felt oddly accepted. Ella had play dates and I even agreed to take one girl to school once a week to help out a working Mum who was pushed for a baby sitter. I offered.. I didn't have to but I did. I should probably mention at this point that said little girl is not a nice little girl. She has been a thorn in my side since they first started in September 2010. There's quite a back story but in a nutshell I requested Ella be moved classes before the start of the last school year to avoid them socialising. We've all known a girl like her, they don't change and unfortunately for Ella chances are she will know her for at least another 10 years. The classes remained and bizarrely the two of them became friends so I thought I'd give the kid another chance. I was wrong.

One day a couple of weeks ago Ella came out of school in tears telling me this child had been picking on her. WELL... pissed off is not the word! That very morning she had sat at my kitchen table eating breakfast with my family and then she has the audacity to be unkind to my daughter? I don't think so! This behaviour had been going on for a very long time and I had held my tongue hoping Ella would stand up for herself and be more assertive but I could hold my tongue no more. I laid in to the kid (not physically of course, I was more than arms length away) I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate her bullying Ella any longer, that she wouldn't like it if the situation was reversed and that I was wholly disappointed given that I'd taken her to school that day, I was doing her mum a favour!

What I said I said in front of a huge group of parents, It was nothing I wouldn't say again and I did not shout. I may have been a touch menacing in my tone but rest assured... that was intentional!

I left, furious and stormed home. Moments later the child's Dad appears on my doorstep giving me what for. He tells me his daughter is upset and that other parents were asking what she had done. This man came to me angry I had disciplined his daughter (his job by the way) and he left telling me that they didn't know what they were going to do with her. He knew within 5 minutes that she was wrong and I was defending my child. That was the day before half term.

I turned up yesterday morning (first day of term) to be frozen out by every parent in that playground. The Mummy Mafia. What behaviour is that for "adults"? What hope do these peoples children have of growing up to be mature and well rounded with parents like that? I may have flown off the handle but I was teaching my daughter to stand up for what's right and not to put up with someone picking on you. What they are doing now is setting a far worse example. Ella tells me that she and the girl are friends again now and that's fine (though I'd rather they weren't) but the girl cowers behind her Mum when she sees me. Is it terrible that I'm pleased?

As long as she's scared of me she won't dare be mean to Ella and although my intention wasn't to scare her if that's the outcome.. I'm okay with it! The Playground Politics will continue I'm sure but being a grown up I am equipped to deal with bullies better than my 6 year old so rather me than her!

I guess I'll have another chance at being the 'good parent' when Milo starts school rather than a social pariah/loose Canon Mother that everyone freezes out!

Milo's First Laugh

2012-02-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

Milo laughed for the first time less than an hour ago and I couldn't wait to share it with you...

Miss BB

3 Months Old

2012-02-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Time flies when you're sleep deprived! 3 months old our little man and he's caused some serious havoc this month. Many nights sitting up at 4am when he decides he's had enough sleep, serious issues with wind and reflux.. I really cannot get puked on enough.. its great! And we've finally given in and started trying to wean. I know it's a month too soon but who are these people that say when is right? This kid cannot get enough food, he is ALWAYS hungry so I figured it was time. He's not loving it yet but we're taking it slow so that hopefully by the time he's 'officially' allowed baby food he will be ready for it. He also moved in to his big cot in his own room this month which was a massive turning point for us. Even when he's up in the night I almost feel like I'm getting too much sleep compared to the first 8 weeks of his life! This week he slept his first 9 hours (totally one off by the way) which was of course fantastic and I've started the "controlled crying" when he wont settle which seems to be working well. I leave him for 10 minutes, go back to settle him without lifting him out of his cot then leave him for 20 minutes.. I've never had to go back a second time yet so I'm hopeful that this method will be more effective having started early. Ella was an absolute terror at night until she was almost 5 so I am very aware that I do not want a repeat of that with Milo.

He is starting to roll but doesn't get much time of his back as he's always in his bouncer or being held but in his cot he often rolls on to his side while wriggling around. I keep meaning to get him a play mat.. I think developmentally he would really benefit from more floor time. His legs are still so strong, always pushing to stand and stamping his feet he's even taking 'steps' which I'm yet to capture on film but will blog about separately as I managed to get a few photos. And Milos third month also brought him his first snow just in time for Mummys birthday so that was nice.

He's still a very wingey baby and always fidgeting, we think it's due to his colic and reflux issues but Lee is convinced he may be having issues with his milk. I'm considering a call to the health visitor to see if there's any advice they can give on other feeding options. I'll be keeping quiet about the early weaning though.. they're uber strict round here! I think That's about it for this month. I'm going to get out Ella's progress books and see what she was doing at this age.. will be interesting to compare and if there's anything good I will of course share with you all.

I'm really hoping that the fourth month update will bring happy news about sleeping through the night and self soothing but I'm a realist and am just happy to have this little bundle happy and well.

Miss BB

Snow Big Deal

2012-02-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

BABY'S FIRST SNOW!!!

Miss BB

Look Who's Eating Food!

2012-02-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

Ok so maybe he's not TECHNICALLY supposed to be trying baby food for another month but he is just SO hungry! He's already taking as much milk as his bottle will hold and we're still having night feeds because it's just not filling him up. Last night we decided to give baby rice a go. There's a lot of conflicting opinions online as to whether it's safe to put this in their bottle or not - for those unfamiliar with the product its very finely milled powder.. not rice-like or lumpy at all - but I am in the 'not risking it' camp so we spoon-fed him. I made it super milky, not much powder at all.. it's his first time after all! He wasn't keen on the spoon and for the most part what I did get in his mouth he either spat out or just left it there unsure what to do with it. I can't imagine what a surreal experience it must be for a baby but today I have given him a spoon to play with in the hope he'll get used to it and our next attempt will be more successful. He seems to like it and managing to grab the spoon and locate his mouth is a big milestone for little baby M!

Miss BB

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Milo's Moved Out

2012-01-23T03:17:00.000-08:00

Today marks one week since my little Milo bear moved into his own room. I hadn't intended to put him on his own so early but we'd left his crib at Grandma's and so thought we'd give it a go for a night... little did we know he would love it! He has his last bottle at around 10pm and then lies happily in his cot until he falls asleep. He NEVER did that in his crib beside me and he doesn't settle as easily when he knows we're n the room but when I peek in from his doorway he is kicking his legs and waving his arms, gurgling away contently, It's amazing! Night-times weren't great because he's such a fidget and I could hear every little noise when he lay beside me but now he is just perfect. We've had a couple of really good nights but he hasn't "slept through" yet, 10pm til 4am is pretty good going though and that's normal right now. Being in his own room also means that whoever isn't up with him gets a lot more sleep so that's a major positive but the best thing has to be the beaming smile he gives me when I go to get him in the morning. Everyone's happier when we're well rested and being in his own room is working for him as much as it is for us.

Our rooms are very close and it was all a bit unplanned so as yet I haven't bought a monitor.. I'm tempted by this deal on buyapowa right now though.. £34.99 down from £59.99!! I've been put off thus far because of the cost but there will come a time when I want to put him to bed while we're downstairs and for that I will definitely be needing one. buyapowa deals are timed so this link wont be relevant forever but for now if you want to buy this you can check it out here. I think I'm going to have to have it.

Miss BB

My Sleepy Boys...

2012-01-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

Miss BB

2 Months Old

2012-01-10T14:50:00.000-08:00

2 months old? Already? I don't like this one bit!

As you know Milo has suffered with colic and acid reflux. He's still not great and his sleeping is hit and miss but we do get the occasional good nights sleep (by current standards). In the last month he has been pushing himself up to stand against up , grabbing everything he can and is finally enjoying bath time. To soothe him we often use white noise such as the hairdryer.. in fact as I type this he is being lulled to sleep by a genius app playing him the sounds of a doppler.. what will they think of next? He is consistently taking 6oz bottles and is hungry all the time.. I can't wait to wean him on to solids.. I'm sure that will be the key to him sleeping through the night. He's just a very hungry boy. Ella absolutely loves him, she has infinite patience when we have none and will sing to him even when he is screaming at the top of his lungs. He's a serious headbutter, has been since he was born but recently he seems to have motive... he split my lip the other day.. I'm still not sure what I did to deserve it. I'm considering putting him in his own room.. everyone else seems to think it a great idea as he's a fidgety sleeper and I get him up when perhaps he would have slept through had i not heard him. I'm just not quite ready to let go.. he's too lickle!! Everyone is getting regular smiles now which makes his screaming fits a lot more tolerable.. it's very hard to stay made at him when he's so very cute. his eyes are still very blue. Brown is the norm for my family but Lee has green eyes.. they can take up to 6 months apparently to be the colour they will be forever but I'm hoping for green.. he already looks so much like his Dad I'd be really surprised if he didn't get that from him too.

Overall month 2 has been the hardest so far and I'd really like it to remain that way. He will be teething before we know it and I'd like a little respite before then. My Mum has kindly offered to take him off our hands every Friday (thanks Mum) which we obviously jumped at so we do get one unbroken night of sleep a week and in all honesty I don't know how I'd survive without it. Lee's a huge help but I don't like him to do too much during the week as he works long hours and that's the whole point of maternity leave, isn't it? I know he feels like he should be doing more though which is tough for him. Hopefully Milo will get easier soon so life can get one step closer to normal again.

Miss BB

Bump - Before and After

2012-01-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

MORNING MILO WAS BORN

3 DAYS AFTER BIRTH

10 DAYS AFTER BIRTH

6 WEEKS AFTER BIRTH

Milo is nearly 8 weeks old. I was going to continue this post baby belly pictures and post this when I was totally back to my former shape but I think instead I am going to do before and after pictures from next week. As of right now I have done zero exercise to banish the bulge but am finally feeling up to it so from 8 weeks on I am on a mission. We have a vacation booked for 18th March and I WILL be in a bikini by the pool. That's just over 2 months away so it will be tough but I first wanted to share how much I shrunk down naturally for those worrying about gettin their figures back post pregnancy. I have just over a stone to shed to be back to pre-Milo weight but I'm not too worried about that.. more about the wobbly bits really.

Wish me luck!

Miss BB

Acid Reflux

2012-01-06T06:37:00.000-08:00

Having never suffered from reflux as an adult I wasn't prepared for it in my baby. He was so fidgety and crying from nowhere, he went from perfect to far from it in about a week and we had no idea what was going on. We took him to the doctors who deducted he had Acid Reflux. He is worst in the evenings, though thankfully not at night (yet) and is more likely to be sick after laying flat. She prescribed infant Gaviscon (powder sachets to go in his milk) and suggested we keep him upright during feeding and as long as possible afterwards. At first his symptoms got better, I'd say almost immediately, he was a joy to have again.. and then they got worse. About a week in to taking the Gaviscon his uncomfortable evenings of inconsolable crying and sickness were back. That was at about 6 weeks I'd say and only now (nearly 2 weeks on) can I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The past few days he's been so sleepy, he still has his moments but he's easier to comfort and a lot less sick, he's no longer draining his bottle and is not crying for it as often as he was. I've concluded that he was having a growth spurt. He's absolutely massive now compared to just a few weeks ago and I vaguely remember the phases of constant hunger and being too tired to sleep from Ella being small. I hope to come back to you in a week and be singing his praises once more because the last few weeks have just killed us. My Mum has very kindly offered to take him off our hands every Friday night while we need her to (uuh.. forever?) and so I will leave you with just 4 letters...

TGIF

Miss BB

How I Healed

2011-12-30T09:00:00.000-08:00

Day One

You can see my post on the birth here. Even within half an hour of the surgery I started to regain some feeling in my incision. It was a little tingly and the midwife topped me up with pain relief. My catheter leaked so I had to have it removed and go to the toilet myself earlier than I'd anticipated. Standing left me feeling sick and light-headed, it hurt to stand, it hurt to walk but if I lay down I felt relief.

Day Two

The second day was possibly the worst. The pain relief was Diclofenac (or Voltarol) which is more anti-inflammatory than pain killer so it took time for that to start working. I was taking Paracetamol along with it and Oral Morphine as and when the pain got too much. I didn't take as much as I could have and that definitely contributed to this being the worst day. Sometimes you don't know you need it until you need to move and by that time it's too late.

Day Three

We were discharged from hospital after two nights so the second half of day three was at home. I hadn't realised that Dicolfenac was not a strong pain killer so I wasn't taking my Paracetamol. I've always kind of thought Paracetamol didn't do anything for me so I assumed it wouldn't make a difference if I skipped it.. I was wrong! I slept propped up on the sofa downstairs to avoid having to get out of bed and using my stomach muscles.

Day Four

Sleeping on the sofa.. not a good idea! Today my back may have been the most painful thing.. which at least distracted me from my incision. My milk also came in today so now I have nowhere comfortable to hold Milo.

Day Five

Feels like I've turned a corner pain-wise today. I'm much more comfortable getting up from the sofa and have just about got the knack of getting out of bed now. I roll on to my side and push myself up.. I'm catching my stomach muscles less and less. I laughed this evening and it hurt so much I cried. If I can avoid straining my stomach it's really not that bad.

Day Six

Went to my parents for Sunday Lunch. The car ride was 100% more comfortable than the ride home from the hospital. I felt no pain going over bumps in the road, I was more nervous than anything. I felt able to walk up and down stairs, my back ache came in around 2pm and at night I was pretty bad. I think I over did it.

Day Seven

I am feeling fine during the day and moving around comfortably but at night time I feel totally different. From 5pm onward I want to lie down. I sneezed and forgot myself so didn't hold my incision. Most painful thing I've done so far! I had to check to make sure I was still intact. All was fine but boy that hurt!

Day Eight

Today I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm feeling good during the day.. I can't stand for too long but I'm pretty comfortable and at night I still feel good. I got up in the night with Milo and felt fine. That's the first time, usually getting up in the night is the worst as I'm stiff from being immobile in my sleep. I really feel just so much better today.

Day Nine

Today my tummy is really tender above my incision. I can only think that's the internal bruising. the bruising around my incision site is really bad so I can't imagine what it's like on the inside. We went out shopping and I wasn't too uncomfortable. I was achey from walking for a long time but didn't take any pain relief until bedtime. - Shaved my legs in the shower today. Can't believe I was able to already!

Day Ten

We went to register Milo's birth and to the hospital for his hearing test and then to the supermarket. Everything is easier now. I can use my tummy muscles a little, I don't have that stinging, burning sensation when I catch them and getting out of bed is a breeze compared to a few days ago. I'm still bleeding but it feels like that's coming to an end too. I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Day Eleven

My tummy is still sore but not really around the incision site so I think it's internal. Feels like I've been kicked repeatedly in the stomach. Not pleasant but still 100x better than I thought I'd feel 2 weeks on. I can get in and out of bed and move around easily and was up with Milo every time he woke in the night without needing help so was able to give Lee a decent nights sleep.

Day Twelve

I'm starting to get some pain back around my incision site. I'm not sure if I've been overdoing it or perhaps I'm regaining some feeling where before I was numb. I've been laughing A LOT which may sound like a good thing but effectively I'm hammering my wound from the inside and I can't see if that's doing any damage which is scary but I'm nervous that may be why I'm feeling it again.

Day Thirteen

Still sore but not so much I can't get around. Took Ella to school and picked her up with Milo by myself today. Torrential downpour didn't help! I thought I'd stopped bleeding but it's back and worse than when I left the hospital. I don't know if that's normal or if it's related to feeling my incision again but it's worrying me a little.On the plus side by scar is looking really good. Already better than my first, it's amazing.

Day Fourteen

My skin on my tummy is still tender but it feels like it's getting better. My incision is still sore, worst on the left side which is where it hurt most after the operation. I can comfortably hold my incision and it feels good to support it. I haven't laid on my front yet (scared) but I lay on my side and it feels better when I lay on the left which again I think is about support. Fingers crossed I'm still on track and healing.

Day Fifteen

Inside pains seem to be improving as does the skin tenderness. It's definitely helping to rest. I'm pretty sure I overdid it when I started to feel better so an FYI for all of you reading this for info before your C-Section.. you need to keep resting as long as you can.. If you do too much too soon you will slow down the healing process. Milk has nearly stopped and bleeding is still going strong :(

Day Nineteen

Last night we went out for dinner while Milo was with my Mum. I was feeling good for the most part but I'm definitely not ready for heels yet. I'm not sure why but it really seemed to put strain on my tummy walking in heels. That and the shivering (it was freezing) you wouldn't believe how much that hurt.. it's basically loads of involuntary muscle spasms... not pleasant. All in all.. I'm not doing well taking it easy.

Day Twenty One

My lower tummy is still uber tender and sensitive. It hurts even for soft material to brush over it. It must be really bruised under the skin is all I can think it is. I did manage to have a bath today and finally get all my steri-strips off. Neither hurt, I was worried about nothing. Starting to look a bit more like me. My scar is already 100% better than my first which is incredible and I think the bleeding might be stopping.

Day Twenty Three

I've been a bit stupid today, I may or may not have moved a heavy sofa and a bed... on my own. I moved them all the way out of the house.. not smart! I've been feeling fine and even since then I don't feel like I've done any damage or anything but when I got out of the bath I noticed a teeny tiny bit of white goo on the right side of my scar. It wiped away with a cotton bud and doesn't seem to be oozing or anything so I'm not sure.. it may just have been the remnants of a scab..either way it spooked me.. it's only 3 weeks since I had major abdominal surgery.. why can't I just rest like a normal person? In other news.. still heavy bleeding and skins still sore, dry and flakey. I only noticed the gunk because I was oiling my tummy.

Day Twenty Five

No more gunk so I'm assuming what I saw was a healing scab after all. My tummy is still very sore but not my incision. It's just above it and below my belly button, I've read online it may be that I'm regaining feeling there were it was previously numb because the nerves are cut. That and the still very heavy bleeding are the two things I can't wait to get better. No internal/scar site pain at all at the moment.

Day Twenty Eight

My tummy has shrunk considerably.. I can near enough suck it all in now so my uterus must be almost back to its original size (they say 6 weeks) Bleeding is now what I'd consider "normal" for a monthly bleed so it may be coming to an end.. thank god! Skin is still tender but I think it's improving.. hard to measure. When I sneeze the left size of my scar has started to sting again.. not sure if that's good or bad but I'm trying not to sneeze. Otherwise feeling good.

Day Thirty Two

The bleeding has FINALLY stopped. The burning pain I had got back on the left side of my scar has gone completely now. My tummy is still sore to put pressure but my tender skin is feeling 50% better. My line nigra seems to have started fading too, I was getting concerned it might be permanent

Day Thirty Five

Bleeding again.. awesome! I'm hoping this is a monthly bleed now.. we'll see in a few days. On the right side of my scar I have a dent (really hard to describe) I've looked online for a similar picture but can't find anything so I may have to put one up if it stays as it is. One side is fairly smooth and the other looks like I have a wedge of tummy above my scar. Very weird! It's reduced A LOT over the last couple of weeks so I'm hoping it's still swollen and will go away but I never had anything like it the first time.

Day Thirty Eight

Bleeding stopped again so I'm assuming it was aunt flow after all. I can't see any drastic improvements happening now, I think it's all just going to gradually get better over the next few months. I have no major complaints anymore I'm just generally still a bit sore but as Lee keeps reminding me it was only 6 weeks ago I had surgery.. it's normal to not feel 100% yet.. just frustrating. Because my scar looks to well already it feels like I should feel as well but there's so much going on inside that I can't see I really have no idea how close to healed I am right now. I just hope I'm back to normal for our VegasVacation in March.

I'm going to leave my How I Healed "journal" there. I hope it helps someone who's recently had or waiting for a section and interested in the stages of recovery. I looked all over for something like this when I was panicking before the operation and even since then when looking up symptoms but found nothing similar so I hope it will be of use to someone else looking for the same.

Miss BB

6 Weeks Old

2011-12-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

So Milo has reflux. He visited the Doctor and was diagnosed last week. He went from being the perfect baby and sleeping all the time, feeding well, just generally better than I could have hoped for to... well.. not. I'm glad he seems to be improving thanks to the various changes we've made and medications he's now taking but it's not the easy time he was promising when he was first born. I knew it couldn't last but deep down I really hoped it would.. I thought I'd earned a good baby after Ella was such hard work.. but no. It's really tough between Lee and I because we both have different ideas of how to deal with a baby that cries all the time and we're both tired but we're doing well to avoid conflict so far. The worst thing that could happen right now would be for us to be fighting. I can see how this kind of thing can cause problems in a relationship but I am confident we will stay strong and support each other as best we can. Communication is key!

I haven't visited the clinic to have him weighed since the midwife weighed him at 2 weeks but I weighed myself with and without him at the weekend and deduced his weight is now approx 12lbs..

little chunk!

Miss BB

Merry Christmas From Milo

2011-12-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

Can you even believe it's Christmas Eve??? Tomorrow will be my little boys first Christmas! Ella is understandably excited for Santa's visit and I for one can't wait to see what he brings them ;)

Last night they stayed away for the first time together at my parents house while we went out with friends for a meal and drinks. Milo has been so colicky recently I really needed a full nights sleep. I have been filming daily vlogs throughout december and was shocked to see how tired I look. I definitely needed to catch up on some beauty sleep. I've also seen Milo deteriorate to the point where he was diagnosed with reflux.. I'll blog about that in his 6 week update post on Tuesday! For now I'll wish you all a very Merry Christmas from Milo and our whole gang. Already excited for New Years!

Miss BB

4 Weeks Old

2011-12-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

Can you believe my little Milo bear is 4 weeks old today? I can't believe it's already been a month yet can't believe a month ago he wasn't here. He's growing so fast (too fast) filling out his little suits and getting stronger all the time. He's more alert now and awake for longer periods of the day. He's discovered her doesn't have to be perfect and has a little cry every now and then. Still doesn't like bath time but doesn't mind so much being changed anymore. He's slept a couple of times 6hours+ through the night but it's not a regular occurrence - appreciated when it happens though. It's just 2 weeks 'til Christmas and I'm so pleased to be able to celebrate it with our new little man. This time last year we had almost given up hope of conceiving him so he's really the best gift we could have asked for.

Miss BB

Little Sucker

2011-12-09T06:07:00.001-08:00

When he's hungry Milo will suck on anything... even my nose!

Miss BB

How To Look After Your Baby...

2011-12-07T14:14:00.001-08:00

I saw these funny baby "instructions" on The Reluctant Mom and had to share them with you...

Miss BB

3 Weeks Old

2011-12-06T15:12:00.001-08:00

My baby boy is 3 weeks old today! It's been a LONG day of fussiness so this is a short post before bed but I'll film a video update tomorrow...

Zzzzzzzzzz

Miss BB

Grabby McGrabberson

2011-12-03T18:49:00.001-08:00

That's my boy! Always Sleeping for Mummy!

He needs his rest as he's developing so quickly. A couple of days ago he started grabbing at things for the first time. He got the little ribbony loop thing inside my top, you know the one you use to hang things up? He's since discovered my hair... likes to give that a good tug. Rest assured I shall not be wearing earrings around him for a while.. ouch! Another little development milestone is that he follows us with his eyes now. He rarely focused on us before but now he can really look and turns his head if we move side to side. He's more alert every day and is awake for longer periods which is lovely. He's already growing so fast, I wish he could just stay tiny forever but I'll settle for him being the best behaved baby boy while he is still small. He will lay in his cot and just look around the room, I've never known a baby so content.

Fingers crossed he's just a really good baby and this isn't a passing phase.

In case you missed it here's his 2 week update that went live this week...

Miss BB

2 Weeks Old

2011-11-30T00:03:00.001-08:00

Milo was actually 2 weeks old yesterday but I'm only getting around to posting now. The midwife and the health visitor came over and he was weighed again. At birth he was 6lbs 15oz, babies generally lose weight in their first week but not Milo, last week he was 7lbs 2oz and this week he is 7lbs 11oz. He still seems so tiny so I can't believe he is growing so fast! He's a very hungry baby and he's still sleeping really well. He's spending more time awake during the day but he's happy to lay in his cot while I get the housework done. I'm making the most of it as I know he's not going to stay like this forever but he's just the prefect baby right now.

Miss BB

An Official Baby

2011-11-28T10:14:00.001-08:00

As of Friday 25th November my baby is official. He was registered Milo McDaid.We haven't had any particularly negative reactions to his name but I know not everyone's keen. Naming a child is a huge responsibility and I hope when he's older he doesn't really dislike it. Either way I love it and there's no going back now!

Miss BB

Birth Day

2011-11-23T23:22:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday 15th November 2011 my son Milo was born.

I had planned an elective cesarean because my first birth was an emergency one and this time they allowed me the choice. Because it was planned I had to fast from midnight the previous day in case there were complications and they felt it necessary to put me to sleep. I woke up at 6am on 15th and took an antacid as instructed. We got ourselves ready and our taxi arrived at 7. By 7.30 I had been admitted and we were making ourselves comfortable on the ward. We were put in a 4 bed with 2 other women who had their babies already. We were assigned a midwife who came in to introduce herself and gave us a rundown of what we could expect. She told us she wasn't sure if we'd be first in or not yet but that we would be going down to theatre at either 8.30 or 10.30. I was scared but excited at this stage, it could all happen so quickly, very surreal.

The consultant arrived and told us we were first in and she was expecting it all to start at around 9am. She again ran through what I should expect, the anaesthetists also visited to introduce themselves. Bizarrely they got me mixed up with another expectant mum who was just 13.. funny story.. I guess I should be flattered. The midwife returned and gave me my gown and TED stockings (to prevent blood clots), she said to get ready and get out baby's first outfit to take down to theatre with me. It all seemed to be moving along really quickly and if it had stayed on course I think the whole day would have been better but unfortunately several emergencies came up and I didn't actually get called in to theatre until 3pm. I hadn't eaten and was pretty miserable by this stage, not to mention I'd had 6 hours to really freak myself out about having major surgery. The midwife came to get us, I brought my own pillow and walked to theatre. It was the single most scary experience of my life. I was not excited in the slightest, I couldn't be enthusiastic to meet my baby I was terrified. Lee was sent off to get his scrubs on and I was walked in to the anaesthetists room to have my Spinal Block. I was holding back tears and trying to lighten the mood. The staff were really friendly and helped keep my spirits up, I didn't cry. The worst part was having the cannula in my hand for the drip, that really stung. I had to sit up and hunch over to have the spinal administered. First they put in a local anaesthetic so I'd be numb, that wasn't pleasant but not too bad. Next they had to have someone hold me in case I fell as they put in the block. It's almost instant so if you're leaning forward off a bed there's a good chance your legs could give way. I felt pressure in my back and a pushing they turned me and lay me down and I could feel a warm sensation moving down my legs almost immediately. They waited a while and did several tests with a cold spray to make sure I was numb. The oddest thing is you can feel everything but you don't feel pain.

They wheeled me in to theatre which to my surprise was just another room, no harsh metal walls or anything scary looking at all.. just a room with some overhead lights set up. They got me in position and then brought Lee back in. By this point I was feeling okay, I was more worried that he would worry so reassured him I couldn't feel any pain but explained the strange sensation of still feeling the movements. They told me I wouldn't be able to tell when they started but I could, I was constantly talking to distract myself as they pushed and pulled me around. I felt a huge push on my tummy which I knew was them pushing him out and then a sucking noise like at the dentist. I've watched hundreds of birth programs and knew that was my waters which meant he was almost here. All of a sudden I felt a huge weight lift from me, seconds later he popped up over the curtain. I was so totally overwhelmed. I hadn't been able to see past the operation and hadn't prepared myself for the actual baby being born part so when he arrived it was just... huge. I didn't cry but I just felt so happy. I'd had an oxygen mask on for the operation up until then and they removed it then and gave the baby to Lee. He looked so happy and was laughing at the faces baby was pulling. He looked all pouty and mad to have been pulled out unexpectedly. It took a while to stitch me up and as they were finishing they sent Lee and baby to recovery to wait for me. He had fed him (15mls) while they waited and he dressed him before we went back to the ward. I held him and it was a totally different experience from my first birth, I felt a bond with him straight away. The sensation was coming back in my incision site while in recovery which made me nervous but it wasn't too painful. I couldn't have pain relief for 2 hours as I'd have had to have been monitored and been given oxygen so I decided to wait as it wasn't unbearable at that stage so it seemed unnecessary.

Lee called my Mum and Ella as soon as we were back on the ward as they'd been waiting all day for news. They came to visit straight away and were soon joined by my Dad and my brother. Everybody loved him (obviously) but Ella especially, she wanted to stay with us in hospital. Lee stayed the night and barely slept at all, it was a difficult first night because we were in a shared room and the other babies were fussy so we were awake a lot and I was really sore. All in all it was better than I expected in some ways and worse in others. The operation was a drop in the ocean, nothing to be afraid of just a little nerve wracking, the pain afterwards was worse than I remember. While I was resting it was manageable but I was encouraged to get up and move around early and that was bad, I was light headed and sick. However... I am writing this a week on and I feel 100% better already. It happened almost overnight so it felt as though I wouldn't feel better for months but really in the grand scheme of things.. it's still not easy now and I'm still sore but one week of discomfort for something so precious.. absolutely worth it!

Miss BB

Hey Boobs! Where'dya Go?

2011-11-22T13:11:00.001-08:00

*Disclaimer - These are NOT my boobs! But I would be very happy if there were!*

I woke up today to a bit of a shock... my boobs seem to have disappeared OVERNIGHT!

I big perk of pregnancy for me was the big boost in the bust department, I definitely enjoyed filling out my clothes that bit better and it made my huge bump less of an inconvenience.. a trade off if you will. Unfortunately as I am not breastfeeding my boobs have shrunk down to nearly their pre-pregnancy size just a week after birth so I still have a pregnant looking tummy but no big boobs to make up for it. I remember the first time around becoming a bit obsessive about this and even going as far as to order pills online that claimed to grow your breasts... needless to say I thought better of it and returned them but still.. the idea was in my mind. I can totally understand why people plump for a boob job at this time in their lives because the difference is so dramatic in such a short space of time.. I almost feel bereft over the loss. I will have to make my peace with it, I may have to treat myself to another Mama Mio Boob Tube to firm up what I have left. The whole situation has left me feeling rather deflated.

Miss BB

One Week Old

2011-11-22T12:16:00.001-08:00

Today my little Milo is one week old. You could be forgiven for thinking he'd had a fortnight in the sun from the tan he's sporting but he is still brand new to us. The midwife visited today, she said his jaundice was improving, he's eating really well and he's actually put on weight which is unusual. Ordinarily it takes babies 10 days to return to their birth weight as they usually lose some in the days following their arrival but little Milo has gone from 6lbs 15oz to 7lbs 2oz in his first week so that's great. He had his heel prick blood test done too which was horrible for me to watch but he barely flinched, no tears whatsoever. He is such a good baby, it's almost like he doesn't want to trouble anyone. I can't believe he's been with us for just a week, it feels like he's been here forever.

Miss BB

Eyes Wide Open

2011-11-21T11:54:00.001-08:00

Okay I know I'm biased but my baby boy is just the cutest! You already know that! What you don't know is he is also the worlds best behaved baby. I am in total awe of how good he's been so far, I'm not expecting him to stay this easy but I am really appreciating it while it lasts. He sleeps ALL the time, he wakes for feeds and nappy changes and then goes back to sleep til the next.. I can't quite believe it! He is alert for such a short period during the day that I had to post these pictures of him with his eyes open. When he is awake he just lays happily in his crib or my arms looking around, totally content. He does cry occasionally of course but it's so rare at the moment it's a novelty. It's only really when I'm changing him or he's being impatient for his bottle but it never lasts long and he is easily consoled. As I type this he is gurgling in his crib next to me.. no trouble to anyone... who could ask for more?

He is a little jaundice and that coupled with him arriving a week earlier than he expected are contributing factors to his sleepiness, I think. The midwife visits again tomorrow and I will have to ask if he's improved as it is a little concerning but he feeds well and shows no signs of illness so I'm not overly worried. It's almost as if he's making it easy for me while I heal.. I love him!

Miss BB

In't Milk Brilliant?

2011-11-19T03:14:00.001-08:00

When you have an elective Cesarean ahead of your due date it's usual to have to wait for your milk to come in. Your body isn't expecting to need milk just yet so it takes a while to catch up with itself. Today Milo is 4 days old and my milk arrived. I'm not planning on breastfeeding (you can see my post about that here) but when the milk is coming it does seem like such a shame to waste it. When the midwife came to visit yesterday she said Milo has a touch of Jaundice so it's important for him to feed every 4 hours (6 at night) and take at least 1oz of formula. When you need to monitor how much your baby is eating I am pleased we are bottle feeding. At first he was not taking much because he was so mucousy (common for c-section babies). He's gone from taking just 15/20mls in hospital to his record feed this morning of 100ml. I would never had known that had I been breastfeeding. He's a hungry little guy but he also sleeps a lot and I can relax (and sleep myself) knowing he's been well fed.

I'm not totally opposed to breastfeeding and I am considering giving it a go as a bonding exercise and supplement the formula feeds but I won't be replacing the bottle altogether.

Now I must go as he is stirring and it's time for my pain killers (yay)

Miss BB

48hrs With Milo

2011-11-18T01:04:00.001-08:00

20 minutes old, here is in "recovery" after the c-section and before we got back on the ward.

Big sister Ella was very much enamoured of the little guy.

Here she is demonstrating how she could sleep in hospital with me and cuddle him all night.

Grandma was quite taken with him too.

Night time cuddles from Mummy.. still only hours old.. he doesn't look brand new, does he?

Daddy's turn

One day old and POOPED!

Just less than 2 days old and ready to go home.

Slept through his first car journey but was bewildered when he woke up somewhere new.

First bath... not his favourite thing so far

"What was that all about then?"

In his hand-me-down dressing gown from Ella, ready for his first night at home.

He's only been here a minute and I can't remember life without him

Miss BB

Born on 15th November

2011-11-16T12:21:00.001-08:00

I have taken SO many photos already but as we're still in hospital I can only upload from my iPhone. Milo arrived at 3.47pm by elective caesarean on Tuesday 15th November 2011. I will post about the birth in detail later, for now I just wanted to put something up to introduce him to you all. Everything went as planned and we're both doing well, he's a bit sickly as c-section babies tend to be and I am sore, as expected. We will hopefully be coming home tomorrow.

Thank you for all the messages, there were so many I couldn't possibly reply to them all but we're very touched.

xoxo

Miss BB

Denial

2011-11-14T14:44:00.001-08:00

He's coming tomorrow. Tomorrow I am having a major abdominal operation. I am very much not ready for this!Everyone is so excited for his arrival and I just can't get there yet. Too Scared. TOO SCARED!! From midnight tonight I am on fast so no food or drink until he's out and I'm back in the ward. It's just 1 hour until then. I doubt I will sleep tonight, TOO SCARED! We've just about packed up for the hospital, I think I have everything I need but who knows.. I'm sure I'll have forgotten something. I've washed all of the baby bedding for when he comes home, His nursery is ready, everything is ready... NOT ME! I've taken a long, hot bath, I've scrubbed within an inch of my life and will shortly be smothering myself in shea body butter and attempting to relax.

Tomorrows post will be filled with joy and, if all goes according to plan, his first baby photo. For now I am in deep denial. I am not going anywhere tomorrow, nothing is going to be pulled out of me and I am not going to have a scary-looking incision to look after and need to be doped up on pain killers for the next few weeks. Nope! Nope Nope Nope!!!

Miss BB

It's Only Just Begun

2011-11-13T15:37:00.001-08:00

I just edited my "baby break" video to upload to my beauty channel. I'd planned to film an explanatory video to put up on my channel page for while I am too busy with baby things to make new videos. It was almost emotional (maybe it was the music I chose for the background) and I just can't believe it's time to upload it. Tomorrow is my last day as a mother of one. Tuesday Milo will arrive and change our family forever. I am excited and scared and overwhelmed.. No matter when or how a baby comes in to your life I don't think you can ever be prepared for it. My mind is buzzing with so many questions, Will he be ok? Will I be ok? What will he look like? What will happen when we bring him home? How will Ella be around him? At the moment I am still very nervous about the surgery and so some of my baby nerves are being pushes aside but every now and then they force themselves back in and I remember... there's going to be a baby here soon. A baby! It feels like the longest time coming but also that time has zoomed away from me. We waited so long to conceive him that it took me a long time to accept he was really coming so my pregnancy has felt lightening fast. I'm growing uncomfortable and am looking forward to getting my body back but I'm not quite ready to not be pregnant yet. I feel like I've only just begun my pregnancy and it's already over. At first I said absolutely no more, I wanted a second child but not a brood and now I'm not so sure. I have the benefit of many child bearing years still lying ahead of me so I can never say never. As I sit in bed, unable to sleep for braxton hicks and fierce baby movements, it would be very sad to think this is the last time I will feel these things. I am so pleased he is coming in such little time but I will miss him when he's gone from me.

Miss BB

I'm Gonna Miss My Bump

2011-11-08T05:09:00.000-08:00

It's not really been a hindrance over these last 9 months and as it's grown you could even call is useful!

I will miss my bump when it's gone!

Miss BB

Week 38

2011-11-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

It would seem the now little Milo is fully formed and ready to go there are no in-utero updates to share. He's the size of a leek and approx 6.8lbs. I missed a midwife appointment so I don't know how big he is in reality but I have my final meeting this Friday, Scary stuff! I have all the little vials to take for them to fill with my blood in case I need a transfusion. I was a little puzzled about this myself as the won't take enough to give me if I do need one so... why do they take it? hmm! I can only assume it's to check I don't have any nasties in my blood before the operation. I have all of my paperwork and instructions of what to do the night before/morning of the operation. I will have to be up at 6am to take a pill which kinda sucks but I imagine I'll be too excited to sleep anyway. I'm getting really nervous about the c-section now. I know it's routine and it's still preferable to going through hours of labour and potentially having to go in as an emergency section anyway but knowing I will be totally lucid and aware of everything freaks me out. I was off my head on everything they'd give me by the time they rolled me in to theatre the first time.. this time will be very very different. I'm nervous of the spinal block going in, I'm nervous of it wearing off halfway through and I'm possibly MOST nervous of the pain that I'll feel after it's all over and I've regained feeling. OUCH! All I can imagine is it will be like people say when they come-to after cosmetic surgery (I watch lots of reality TV) they say it feels like they've been hit by a truck. I don't want to feel like I've been hit by a truck! But this time next week he will be here and I will have to face it either way.

I'm really hoping that the emotion of his arrival will put me in a bit of a blur and before I know what's happening the Spinal will have worn off and they'll have topped me up with pain killers. We'll see. I'm not scared about his arrival or bringing him home, I'm actually starting to get excited now. It's really happening. As has been the case throughout my pregnancy, nobody is as excited as my Mum. I'm a bit concerned she might explode when she first visits. Ella is excited... off and on.. I think once he's home and well and I'm recovering she will love it but I get the impression she's worried about me because she knows I'm having surgery. I think she's put off her excitement a little for the same reasons I have... just get that bit over with and know that I'm fine and then I can enjoy it. His room and everything is still only almost done. We're going shopping tonight for all of the last bits and pieces we need. More blankets for example... MILK for another. We're nearly totally ready for him.

Miss BB

Emergency Makeup Bag

2011-11-07T04:02:00.000-08:00

On Saturday night I was almost convinced I was going into labour so I threw together a small hospital bag. I realised how little I was prepared for this. I will do a little video or blog post about everything I put in the bag but in the mean time here's what I filmed yesterday. This is everything I put in my makeup bag in the heat of the moment..

The next morning I did my makeup with the items in the bag and put it this way.. I'm glad I have more time to think about it now. What products would/did you pack for hospital beautification?

Miss BB

Labour Pains?

2011-11-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

Man oh man does this baby hate me today, or what?

A few hours ago if you'd asked me when he was coming I'd have said today... without a doubt. It has been a very uncomfortable Saturday to say the least. The discomfort has gone from my normal pelvis pain to cramp to what feels like contractions in my lower abdomen to dull (very annoying) back pain. It's been the kind that I can't suffer in silence. As I type this I few it's making a comeback. I've been glued to my hot water bottle, took a hot bath and had to resort to pain killers (don't worry, only paracetamol).

My biggest worry is that I haven't packed my hospital bag yet... so what am I doing wasting my time blogging, right? Now the pain and discomfort has subsided I'm feeling more like it was just braxton hicks but it doesn't hurt to be prepared so before I go to bed I'll probably put something together.. just in case.

I'm just not ready yet. It's only 10 days as it is but I need those 10 days!!!

Miss BB

Could It Be? SPD??

2011-11-03T02:37:00.000-07:00

I've had this pain at the top of my left inside leg for weeks now that feels like a sore, pulled muscle. If I put any pressure on it it hurts, if I flex it or use my leg to move it hurts.. It hurts at night when I'm trying to sleep, it hurts during the day when I'm "resting" and don't even get me started on walking.

At my first midwife appointment after I'd developed this discomfort I brought it up and asked if she knew the cause. She told me it could be a number of things all of which were un-curable by anything other than getting that baby out of me. Great! She said I could have physio but it could make it worse and given the time I have left i decided to grin and bear it. That feels like a lifetime ago now and it's definitely progressed. One thing my midwife had suggested it might be was SPD - Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. I looked it up online (of course) and it seems very possible. I only feel the ache on the one side, it's difficult to describe where it is but imagine a barbie.. where her leg joins to her body... that's my "circle of pain". It's mainly on the lower half of that circle but my whole hip can ache sometimes.

I found this article on BabyCentre about it for those wanting more information... they have nearly all my symptoms listed and it seems more and more like that's my problem. It mentions that the pain is worse at night and going to the toilet (frequently as you'd imagine) is very uncomfortable. Last night I found myself hobbling to and from the bathroom moaning.. I'm sure Lee thought I was going in to labour.

The reason I am writing this is I can't totally remember how I felt at the end of my first pregnancy. I think Milo is higher than Ella was so I am having difficulty breathing and my ribs ache but the need to go to the bathroom every 2 seconds isn't quite as strong. I do remember laying in bed and thinking there was no point in even trying to sleep it was so frequent. That time I was uncomfortable but I don't remember actual pains until labour started. So I want to record how I felt in these final stages so if I do ever happen to find myself here again I will have a point of reference.

That and when you're pregnant you look up every little twinge online and if someone finds this post that is going through the same thing I am I hope it will be helpful and you'll see you're not alone, it's normal and (fingers crossed) there are no lingering aches after the birth.

So apologies for boring those of you not currently in my "condition" but for those that are or have been... have you had anything similar? I find myself sitting feeling sorry for myself when I could be being so much more productive with my last baby-free days!

Miss BB

Boots Bottle Bargain

2011-11-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

I did mention this in a video already but for those of you that missed it I HAVE to tell you about this offer whilst it's still running.
First of all the Avent Newborn Starter Kit which includes..

2 x 260ml Philips AVENT Bottles
2 x 125ml Philips AVENT Bottles
2 x Philips AVENT Newborn Teats
1 x Philips AVENT Newborn Soother
1 x Philips AVENT Brush

Should be £25 but is currently HALF PRICE at just £12.50

and secondly The Avent Feeding Bottle Twin Pack in Blue (or pink FYI) is £6.13 down from £9.19.

At that price I had to buy two... obviously! There are tons of other great deals on feeding and Mother and Baby in general online and in store right now but these are the ones I bought so I thought I would share. For those interested I hope you snap them up in time.

I now have a totally of 12 bottles due to my impulse purchase but 4 of them are the 125mls so they won't stay in rotation for long. They say you need a minimum of 6 for a newborn so I figure this way we'll never be without clean bottles.. it's just a precaution, you understand!

Have you spotted any fab baby deals recently? It seems it's baby season, lots of stores have offers on... great timing for me :)

Miss BB

Baby Buying...

2011-11-02T03:12:00.000-07:00

I had lots of requests to show you what I've bought so far for Baby Milo's arrival. I finally filmed the videos this week... here they are...

If you have any suggestions for anything I'm missing or any great products you would recommend I buy please leave me a comment. It feels like a lifetime ago since Ella was a baby and I have forgotten nearly everything!

Miss BB

Week 37

2011-11-02T03:07:00.000-07:00

So it's just 2 weeks before we get to meet our little guy and I'm finally feeling a little excited. in the last week I have bought most of the stuff we were missing. We still need a couple more newborn outfits for him, more blankets, toiletries and milk... it's felt like I have loads of time left to do these things but I really don't anymore. I have started watching all the baby programmes on Home & Health that I've avoided thus far.. I think they're helping me to remember what the first few days with baby are like and I'm feeling more relaxed. Ella is still really excited and she's been so grown up recently I'm no longer worried about her feeling pushed out.

Baby is "full term" this week so if the worst happened and he made an early appearance all would be well.. he is fully prepared for the world. Many Mums experience "lightening" around this time which is when the baby drops in preparation for the birth and I think that's happened to me. People tell me he looks lower now.. I'm not so sure but I have been really sore at the top of my tummy/under my bust. The skin sometimes feels almost like it's burning and apparently this is a stretching sensation, ouch! I've been trying to relieve it with Aloe Vera which helps for a while but it's not comfortable I can tell you. Gradually my body has been telling me to slow down and do less. I still have pains at the top of my left leg that feel like a pulled muscle in my inner thigh and on the other side I experience occasional flashes of cramp. I get these pains even when I'm resting so walking any distance at all is not easy. Lots of people are asking if I'm looking forward to it being over but although I'm achey I'm not desperate to get him out.. I don't know if that's because of nerves about the operation or if I'm still not ready. I do know that my discomfort won't go away once he's born as I will be recovering from the c-section so whereas most Mums are awaiting that relief I know I won't get that straight away.. but that was my choice.As it is I take Ella to school and back and some not too strenuous house work but try to rest for the majority of my day. I'm beginning to wonder what the baby will allow my days to be like.. will he be fussy? will he be sleepy? Only time will tell...

Miss BB

Sunday Pampering

2011-10-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Today I have treated my weary body to some much needed TLC. Last nights Halloween festivities really took it out of me and when my mum called to say Sunday lunch was off I'll admit I was a touch relieved. I stayed in bed an extra hour and took a long bubble bath. I used my Liz Earl Cleanse and Polish for the first time in months (such effort to cleanse in my opinion) which felt like a spa treatment in itself. I scrubbed my skin within an inch of its life with my new St Ives tub of grainy goodness, deep conditioned my hair and moisturised, moisturised, moisturised. I even had Ella slather my favourite Soap & Glory foot cream on for me (I sadly can no longer reach) and used my ultra rich face cream which just feels heavenly when you actually need it. I have been laying on the sofa dozing for the past hour and am seriously considering taking myself back to bed... why not? In a couple of weeks time that may not be an option. I am sore and achey and tired and I know that won't improve once he's here so I'm going to take this little time I have left for me and enjoy it while it's mine.

Miss BB

Keeping Fresh

2011-10-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

As promised here's my follow up list of toiletries/makeup I intend to take with me in to hospital. Once I've actually packed a bag I will do a post and probably a video showing you what exactly I'm taking but in the meantime here's my checklist. I'm having an elective c-section so I know I will be in for a few days and I know from the last time I might not feel up to showering in hospital so soon after my operation so this is everything I think will keep me feeling fresh during my stay.

Lee will be with me a lot of the time and potentially even overnight... to see what he's packing in his bag click here for his post.

Toiletries

Baby Wipes
Deodorising Wipes
Deodorant
Face Wipes
Dry Shampoo
Toothpaste/Brush
Mints/Gum
Facial Moisturiser

Anything not to get a wash, right? I have no idea how I will feel this time, it might be completely different and I might be dying to jump in the shower but I was so nervous of my incision before it was the last thing I wanted to do. This time I intend to shave my legs and wash my hair the morning of the operation to give me the maximum possible time feeling totally clean.

Makeup

Tinted Moisturiser
Concealer
Powder
Bronzer
Blush
Mascara
Eyeliner
Lip Balm
Eyebrow Pencil/Powder

I'm pretty much taking a full makeup bag so I can pick and choose. I anticipate going very basic while I'm in hospital but the first photos of me with Ella I looked horrendous so I am adamant I will have at least some colour and definition this time. I swear I looked like a 12 year old in trouble!

If you can think of anything else I'm missing feel free to leave me a comment. It's not 100% locked down until I've packed the bag but that will probably be some time this week!

Miss BB

What To Pack?

2011-10-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

Obviously I've done this before but that was 6 years ago.. There are things I recall but I needed help putting together a list of things to pack in my hospital bag. Now that I've been given the OK on my c-section I can be more specific and pack for my recovery as opposed to a long labour. I know that I will be in hospital for a few days and potentially Lee will stay with me for at least one night so I have him to consider too. I trawled the forums and read so many checklists on so many pregnancy websites but this is my whittled down list of things I think I'll actually need.

In no particular order...

Mints/Gum
Windeez (or equivalent - trapped wind is a common complaint following a c-section)
Snacks
Support Bra
Breast Pads
Maxi Pads
Tissues
Toiletries & Makeup Bag (expect a whole other post designated to this)
Reading Material (magazines/books etc)
Laptop & Charger
Phone & Charger
Headphones
Camera, batteries and memory card
Change for vending machines/TV Card top ups.
Hair Brush/bands/clips etc
Dressing Gown
High Waisted Underwear
Baggy Clothes/Pyjamas
Warm Socks
Red Bull

I feel sure I'm forgetting things and of course this doesn't include what I'm taking for the baby but if you guys can think of anything else you'd suggest I take or you'd want there if you were me please leave me a comment below. I have a couple of weeks before the big day but weeks are like days now.
If you're interested in what Lee is taking for himself you can see his post here

Miss BB

Bargain Buy

2011-10-27T15:38:00.000-07:00

Really quick post to share what I picked up from POUNDLAND! These are so cool I can't believe they were only one pound. Crazy! I'm not sure they will all go with the colour scheme but even if I only use a few it will still be so worth the money.. right?

I will do a nursery tour in the next week once I've finished everything so any that I do use you will see then.

What have you picked up recently at a total steal?

Recent Vlog Updates

2011-10-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

Week 36

2011-10-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm as surprised as anyone that I haven't been filling your reading lists with pregnancy updates but it would seem the closer I get to the birth the less interested I am in talking about it... is that strange? He will be here with us in less than 3 weeks and I'm not chomping at the bit for him to arrive. Time is passing alarmingly quickly for my liking actually. Early on when it feels like an age 'til it's over it's all fun stuff picking the pram, decorating the nursery, buying clothes and bottles.. now it's starting to feel a bit of an inconvenience. I have to buy more bottles?... I could spend that money on something else if I had a bit more time lol. My whole pregnancy has been a bit odd like that "feelings"-wise, I'm genuinely curious to see how I'm going to feel when he's actually here.

It doesn't feel like 36 weeks have passed and I just don't quite feel ready yet, y'know? I mean we have all the stuff (pretty much) and if he arrived tomorrow my world wouldn't collapse... I'm prepared but.. I'm not READY. I've waited so long and now I don't know if it's nerves because of the operation or I'm still dumbfounded that we actually conceived the little one but I just don't feel how I thought I would. Next week I will be going to buy all the bits and pieces I need to stock my hospital bag, I still need to get some extra stuff for when he gets here and maybe then I'll feel ready, when I'm totally 100% prepared. In the meantime I'm stuck in this strange kind of limbo, not quite excited, not quite scared, not quite... anything.

Anyway on with the actual baby update. To quote my baby bump app this week the baby is still gaining weight and becoming rounder in appearance. By the end of the week he will be considered full term. So officially by the end of this week I could pop and he'll be totally fine (in theory).When I went to be booked in for my section they told me they used to schedule them in the 37th or 38th week but discovered that more babies delivered electively in those weeks needed to be sent to the special babies unit (always makes me think of Law and Order... just me? never mind) for help with their breathing so they don't like to do that anymore. It's a strange concept to have not carried to term and already be given an end date. Ella was 2 full weeks late and they were in no hurry to get her out. This one will be born 3 weeks earlier.. so I'm not going to have all that huffing and puffing, awfully uncomfortable time that I did the first time around. That being said walking is no picnic anymore.. standing's no better and even sitting and lying down have their bad days. Every pregnancy is totally different, I can vouch for that, I didn't get any of the aches and pains I have now before and the practice labour has started already. I have warned him he'd better not try and come early but my Mum has been encouraging him every chance she gets, she wants an 11/11/11 baby.He's 5.75lb this week and the size of a Crenshaw Melon. When I googled "crenshaw melon" I found almost as many pictures of pregnant belly's as I did the melons themselves which leads me to believe this is a special strain of melon bred especially to indicate the size of a 36 week old baby in utero. Nevertheless... for your viewing pleasure may I present to you... A Crenshaw Melon...

So there you have it. I'm going to miss these fruit comparisons so where possible once baby is here I will endeavour to take him to the supermarket and size him up against various goods to give you an idea of how big he is. By Christmas he might be as big as a box of cornflakes... one can only hope.

It's On!

2011-10-20T14:18:00.000-07:00

It's done, it's booked, we have a date! The official ETA of our baby is 15th November.

I have been fretting about this consultant appointment for approximately 9 months and it could not have gone smoother. We arrived at 10.10 this morning, waited an absolute age for the doctor to see us (all the while freaking out on the inside - what if they make me push??? I don't want to push!!!) The doctor arrived and said "so... have you decided on a mode of delivery?" I said "I'd like a C-Section please" and she said... "no problem".

NO PROBLEM!!! I cannot tell you the relief I felt. After my first delivery I was nearly put off having more children altogether. I was 2 weeks overdue and they induced me..well... they attempted! They actually attempted 3 times between 8am and 8pm and at 10pm I was told visiting hours were over and so was left all alone in a 4 bed hospital room.. in the dark. 19, very pregnant and very scared. By 11 I was feeling contractions and I'd experienced some kind of waters breaking (a minor leak I was reliably informed) but I was not allowed anyone to come and be with me as I was not in "established labour" and as I knew.. visiting hours were over. During the course of the evening I was given various pain relief ranging from.. a hot bath (wtf? I was wailing in agony in said bath and did they care? no!) Gas and Air (fabulous by the way... if you ever get the opportunity you must try it!) and finally Pethidine. The final needle seemed to do the trick as I was found by my Mum at 8am the following morning sitting in a chair staring in to space... pretty much out of it. From there it's all a bit of a blur. They took me to a birthing suite where I was given an epidural, more fabulous gas and air, had several unsuccessful baths and a horrendous moment on a birthing ball. All of this led to an emergency C-Section at around 6pm as I was "not progressing" and the baby was "in distress". I'd like to mention at this stage that various medical professionals had "measured" me throughout the day and I'd been told I was at 7cm.. the head honcho that finally came in and took charge announced I'd never reached more than 3 and that I should never have been left as long as I had. Nice.

You can perhaps see why the mad dash through the don't-sue-us if-we-kill-you-on-the-operating-table paperwork and being wheeled down to theatre in my bed didn't leave a warm, fuzzy memory of birth for me. I suffered post natal depression, didn't bond with my baby for some months and regularly saw a counsellor who asked me "on a scale of one to ten, how many times have you thought of killing yourself this week?" (for the record I've never considered suicide but apparently that's a standard question).

For the duration of my pregnancy I've had everything crossed that a planned section would be allowed but there has been that doubt in the back of my mind. They didn't have to say yes... they could have thought I was just too posh to push and made an example of me. They could have flat our said no. At the end of the day there's no "good" reason why I can't try labour... but I really, REALLY don't want to. Don't get me wrong if I wake up tomorrow having full on contractions and get to the hospital to find I'm ready to push I'll give it my best shot but in my heart of hearts I don't think that's going to happen. I expect a repeat of the first birth and to be frank... if I don't have to go through it.. why would I? I didn't feel like I was robbed of a magical experience. Labour f***king hurts.. it's not rainbows and sparkles and then the baby appears out of a cloud of fairy dust. There are these mother earth types who will be so against my choice to elect an op but dya know what? Screw them! It's my body, my baby.. my decision.

So when I got the go ahead from the consultant today I felt like jumping for joy. She told me it was totally my call and they would support my decision, went through all of the formalities, told me what will happen on the day, when to arrive, when to stop eating, when to take my meds etc etc. It all seems so calm and straight forward. I can't wait! I'm not saying I'm not scared 'cause by jingo I am.. I'm not relishing the thought of being sliced open and having a serious operation to recover from at the same time as a newborn but I did it before and this time I'm prepared. The date we will go in is 15th November so I know that he will definitely be here by then.. I could go into labour before then and if I do I can call the hospital and they'll operate then and there (or I could give labour a whizz if I was feeling daring). Either way I feel 100% better knowing I have the backing of the doc and they really did want to make it as comfortable for me as possible. I don't know if it's my age or that policies have changed but I'm feeling really positive so far. The best thing is Lee will be able to stay with me for my entire stay.. he can sleep in the chair next to me if he feels like it and can visit whenever he wants which is awesome!

I'm so excited now... Baby Milo will be here 3 weeks on Tuesday!

Week 35

2011-10-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

This week Baby Milo is 5.25lb and the size of a Honeydew Melon. I haven't developed any more symptoms but his kicks are getting harder and more uncomfortable and my nights are becoming sleepless.

Last week I made the unfortunate mistake of commenting on how well I've been during my pregnancy. I haven't had so much a cough since Christmas. This of course meant that since Sunday night I have been as good as bed ridden with a cold. Sneezing and spluttering makes sleep difficult enough without a very active baby bouncing on your bladder I can tell you! I have been very well looked after though and Lee has tried his very best to keep me wrapped up and resting despite my efforts to stay up and about. We did get the nursery finished at the weekend so it's nice to have that out of the way. I intend to film the "tour" this week.. All (me) being well. This is the week of the big consultant appt (Thursday) so that's exciting. I will be blogging immediately afterwards to let you know what's said.. Very nervous but if he agrees to the section and gives me a date.. Eek!! Even more nervous!!!!

Til then..

Nursery So Far...

2011-10-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

We spent a long time in the nursery yesterday, Daddy built the crib and I organised, unorganised.... moved furniture... moved it again and reorganised. It's still a mess but it's taking shape and everything's where I want it so over the weekend it will be finished and you know what that means! Finally I'll get around to filming the nursery tour! Now his rooms almost ready it's hard to ignore his impending arrival. It's at the top of the stairs so every time we pass it it's like... eek!! There's going to be someone in there soon!!!!

Thought I'd leave you with some pictures of our progress so far...

Week 34

2011-10-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

This week my baby boy is 4.75lb and the size of an average cantaloupe... interesting? not so much.

But we're all getting very excited here. I'm still in shock that it's come around so quickly. He could be just a month away!! I ordered his cot and car seat yesterday.. we're very close to totally prepared for his arrival. I keep meaning to do my pushchair post and show you all the stuff we've got but I never get around it it.. this week I will try, I promise!

On the negative I am growing more uncomfortable. I'm still managing to get a decent nights sleep but my hips/pelvis constantly ache and if I stand or walk for even a few minutes I get cramp right at the top, inside of my leg. I remember getting cramp in my lower legs that would wake me up at night when I was pregnant with Ella but this is totally different. Hopping around Asda trying to stretch it out makes me look a wee bit crazy to say the least. As a result I've become somewhat of a shut-in. There are a couple of events coming up where I will have to leave the house but I should be able to sit for the majority. Otherwise wherever I can avoid walking/standing I am. We have another Midwife appt on Friday, some of you have suggested they may offer anti-inflammatory pills or even physio. I'd take just about anything right now I think.

Baby Name

2011-10-05T02:31:00.000-07:00

I have changed my mind a lot throughout the last 8 months about the name of our baby boy. It's been Dylan, it's been Zach.. there were lots in between we bounced around but now it's decided. I'v mentioned it briefly in other posts and videos but I'm still getting a lot of questions so I thought I would announced once and for all that our baby boy will be called MILO.

Some of you may think of The Tweenies.. some the dog from The Mask. I don't really care. I love the name and nobody has expressed any negative feelings towards it yet.. I don't see how they could. There's nothing comical about the name but it's still unusual. When I was having Ella one of the names I'd settled on for a boy was Miles. I really liked it but over time I decided it was a little too... how do I put this?...posh! Milo is almost an informal version. When I heard Alyssa Milano had named her son Milo it was love. I haven't wavered since. It's final, once and for all so there you have it. Where we got the name, why we like it... any other questions leave me a comment/tweet me @msbudgetbeauty.

Week 33

2011-10-05T02:15:00.000-07:00

This week baby Milo is a Pineapple. That sounds painful! He's around 4.25lbs and should put on another half pound over the next 4 weeks after which the rapid weight gain should slow down. In 4 weeks he will be considered "Full Term" That's some scary sh*t! I've officially started my Maternity Leave now so I'm on the countdown to birth now.. It's daunting and I can't quite believe it's happening. You may remember it took me some time to really take it in when I found out I was pregnant because we'd been trying for so long.. well I feel a bit like that again now. I accepted that I was pregnant and was getting excited about the whole thing but I just can't imagine the baby being HERE.. like him actually COMING OUT! The more stuff we get the more real it feels and the more unbelieveable it is than in a few weeks we're going to have a BABY!

33 Weeks People! 33 WEEKS!!!

32 Week Bump

2011-10-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

As always here's my monthly bump picture...

I keep meaning to do these more often now I'm nearing the end but even 4 weekly seems like a chore to fit in right now. Besides which I'm not sure I've own that much in the last 4 weeks (check my slide show on the right) so maybe monthly is enough. I am officially on leave as of today.. already feels so weird, like I'm pulling a sickie. I'm not quite freaking out yet but in total shock at how quickly the time has passed since I found out I was pregnant, he will be here in about 6 weeks and in just 2 weeks time we meet with our consultant to discuss the dates and plans... scary stuff. For those who don't follow her I had to give a shout out to Muhsine from Bubblegarm who gave birth to her beautiful baby girl, Esra on Friday. I'm not dying for it to be over for me just yet but if this weather doesn't cool down soon I'm going to melt.

32 Week Vlog Update

2011-10-01T12:18:00.001-07:00

Sibling Rivalry

2011-09-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

I have worried for a while about how Ella will cope with the change in our family dynamic when baby arrives. She has been back and forth between really excited, wanting to be the grown up big sister and being less interested, almost regressing back to baby-hood herself.
I have thought all along that Lee is going to have a harder time of it than me but he has always disagreed. I am her Mum after all so he assumes she "loves me more" but he doesn't understand. To Ella she's never known anything other than a Mum and Dad and a Stepdad. He's as much her parent as I am. If anything it will be worse for her with him when baby comes along because he's her Stepdad. I don't think it's about her preferences I think she's a smart kid and right now she knows she's the closest thing he's got to a child but once the baby comes along that wont be the case anymore. If you were Ella would you not feel threatened by the arrival of a biological child? I liken it to a family that has adopted and goes on to have a child of their own, that adopted child is going to feel a completely different kind of jealousy and resentment.
Ella knows I am her Mum ans I am going to be Milo's Mum too but Lee is going to be this baby's real Dad and even at 6 she knows there's a difference.
I really don't know how to reassure her without making a big issue of it but have suggested that we each have an activity we do with Ella alone and then perhaps a film night once a week when the baby is in bed and she can stay up late. It's a very tricky situation for any family but possibly more complicated still for a "blended" family such as ours. I'm sure we will manage but I wanted to share my thoughts in the hope it would open a discussion among you who have an opinion or have even experienced a similar situation.
This evening Lee told me he finally believes I could be right about her jealousy focusing on him. Ella has always been very affectionate towards him and to anyone watching them together you can see how much she loves him but she's never been overly vocal about her feelings to him. Apparently while I was out of the room today and they were cuddling on the sofa, as they do, she turned to him and said "I like you". Given the amount of time we have been a family unit it may seem like a strange thing for her to say but I think the timing tells us she just wants to make sure he knows.
I've heard her say she loves him before but smart as she is we always suspect she is after something, on this occasion there were no follow up requests, just a spur of the moment expression of fondness.
I hope the solo to sibling transition is smooth. I know that my daughter is loving and kind natured, a big part of me thinks I have nothing to worry about, she will be a big help to us and the perfect big sister but she is still my baby and I want to do everything I can to ensure she feels loved and part of our new family.

Lee wrote a post about Step-parenting, you can see it here

Ella's Olive Branch

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ella holed herself away this afternoon in the dining room with her pencils and I'll admit we were both intrigued as to what she was doing as she was gone a while but when she emerged with this I was touched.

I've never thought she resented the baby but I have worried (as you would) that she may be jealous when he arrives. We've spent a lot of time talking baby recently as my pregnancy is nearing an end and I've felt a change in her. She's becoming more clingy and almost regressing, wanting to be baby again. I have tried to dial down the baby but it's hard so I was really pleased when she presented me with this.

Earlier she had come to me and asked for help spelling some words (don't think she's a Mensa class 6 year old, she did have a little help) but I wasn't sure what she was doing. Basically she's explained to me that it's an "article book" which I will have to write in because the baby can't. I think it's meant to be kind of like a diary but really.. only Ella knows. I really like how she's even lined the pages to be written on... that's attention to detail right there! Not to mention his name on the back cover.. spelt Milow.. awww! and a little love heart! So maybe she wont hate her baby brother after all. It's a legitimate worry I imagine most parents have when introducing another sibling, I may have to dedicate a whole post to it but in the meantime I'm feeling much more comfortable already.

let's have a close up on that shall we?

Awww!

Week 32

2011-09-28T01:01:00.001-07:00

First of all what is a Jicama? My baby is the size of a large one this week but I couldn't even hazard a guess! Any help?

Moving on... Ouch! My hips, my thighs, between my legs... Ouch! How did I get to my 32nd week of my second pregnancy without knowing your hips "soften" in prep for the birth? I felt a wee bit silly to say the least. It's only happened this week and boy am I glad I only have a week left at work.

Walking even short distances is really uncomfortable, I feel about 100 years old. We got our pushchair at the weekend... Very exciting.. Will be sharing with you all very soon! I can't think of anything else but get ready for posts a plenty once I'm off :)

This Time It's Personal

2011-09-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

I was trawling eBay for personalised baby-wear and came across these cute taggy-toys. At just £4.99 each I couldn't resist and yes I know Ella is not a baby anymore but I couldn't buy one for the new baby and not her, could I? For the record she loves it, I figured it's just one of the many little things I will have to do to try and ward off the jealous sibling issues. Anyway I thought I'd share some pictures because I love them, they arrived super fast and they are such good value. For £4.99 you can also get their DOB under the name but obviously I don't know when Milo will arrive just yet so I stuck to just names.
If you're interested you cam buy them here
The seller also does blankets and other items, all embroidered and personalised, really sweet looking stuff so I will probably be buying more from her in the future.
Can you recommend any great online baby stores?

Week 31

2011-09-20T01:57:00.001-07:00

3.3lb! That's more than half a pound in a week!! *eek*

Strangely I'm feeling slimmer in the bump region lately. It feels like he's repositioned himself or perhaps found the portal to narnia. He's been very interested in getting under my ribs too.. I've told him it's a bit tight but he seems determined! This week he's the size of 4 Navel Oranges!? What does that even mean? Are they in a row or a square? Odd!

I was remembering last night my weird symptoms from early on in pregnancy, one stand out one was hot boobs.. Yep, you heard me! I don't know if its something to do with the increase in size early on or just blood rushing to the surface but they were uncomfortably hot.. definitely one of the stranger side effects. More recently I suffer from strain related issues like achey legs, itchy skin and breathlessness... I'm not even going to get in to my weak bladder. I'm still relatively comfortable all things considered and getting more and more excited as I stock up on baby essentials. Hard to believe the wait will be over soon...

Bargain Buggy

2011-09-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

We took a trip to York Designer Outlet today where there's a Mamas & Papas store. We went in on the off chance we might see something we liked for cheap, we didnt expect to find the bargain of the century.

You may remember my last pushchair post (if not you can read it here) where I'd pretty much settled on the Sola with the Aton carseat. Well.. low and behold we rock up and M&P's today to find it there at a large discount. The RRP is £275 and there were 4 or 5 different colour options there for £170. Awesome! All of the pushchairs there are ex-display which doesn't bother me at all for that kind of saving. Anyway... I haven't even gotten to the best part yet... While we were there we noticed an even better deal. A buggy we hadn't really looked at before because it was more than I really wanted to spend, The Urbo.

The Urbo retails at £325 full price but not here... here it was £160!!! Even CHEAPER than the Sola! I seriously don't think I'll find a better deal than that. There were two available in black and we're going back next week with my parents to see it (they're forking out the cash) so fingers crossed one of them is still there but worst case scenario there will be some Sola's which I still really like. Lee is absolutely obsessed with the Urbo now because it's all pimped out in chrome and all but I'm not that bothered either way. They're both really nice.

The reason I was planning on getting the Mamas & Papas Aton car seat (£140) was the £50 off deal when you buy together with the pram but as we will now be buying seperately I'm considering the Maxi Cosi (£125). And do I buy a isofix base or is it safe enough to secure it with a seatbelt? Ugh!! So many decisions and so much expense. I bought one last time (3 actually) and now I look back and can't believe what waste of money it was. I had no idea you didn't need one. They prey on weak expectant parents and their desperate need to protect their unborn children and sell an item seperately that costs nearly as much as the carseat itself to connect it to your car... what a con! I don't know how we allowed this to happen but it did, anyway that's for another post. In the meantime I'm excited to revisit the store next week and potentially bring home our baby's bargain buggy.

30 Weeks - Baby Kicks

2011-09-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Week 30

2011-09-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

This week baby is 2.75lbs and the size of a cabbage.. I thought a cabbage was pretty big but I'm not so sure now. He is perfectly formed but still very small. He doesn't feel very small let me tell you! This week he's developed an interest in kicking my in the ribs.. so that's nice for him... something new. He's moved around so much I've been googling what he could be doing in there, I'm so curious. Lee has been able to feel him for a while but now it's getting creepy.. It feels like he's pushing so hard against me that I'm going to have a limb suddenly burst out of my belly like the scene from Alien. Scary stuff! I'm going to try my best this week to get his movement on tape again, it was cool before but the movement was so slight you culd barely see it. now he's bigger I think it will be more obvious. I have only 2 and a half weeks left at work which is both exciting and very scary (means it's nearly time).. Once I'm off you can be sure I'll be blogging/vlogging everyday. I'll be sat home all day looking up birth and all the things that could go wrong... it's just the kind of person I am.. big planner... big worrier! My blog will be my venting space. I can't believe I'm at 30 weeks already. It feel so close now. It's gone by so fast bearing in mind I found out early because we were trying I thought it was going to drag but It only feels like 2 minutes ago I was blogging about how I wanted to get pregnant.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable or like I've had enough I try and remember how much I wanted this and this might be the last time I get to do it.. I think that's really helped how well it's gone for me so far. I've started to get aches and pains in my lower abdomen, around the site of my original c-section scar. I was warned by my midwife that my scar tissue wont stretch and so it will start to hurt as I get bigger towards the end. Apparently some women think they're experiencing labour, it can hurt that much.. awesome! I've had a little discomfort in the area and one evening it was really aching but not TOO bad so far... I have a feeling that's going to get worse before the end. The breathlesness is increasing and sleeping is becoming a little more difficult but I'm not tossing and turning until the wee hours just yet... I've had a pretty easy time of it so far... oh and still no stretch marks.. keep your fingers crossed for me!

29 Week Vlog Update

2011-09-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Better Butter?

2011-09-10T04:49:00.001-07:00

I just had to share this awesome find with you all. I will be doing a full review on my beauty blog but I couldn't wait to tell you how fantastic it is! I've been using this Soap & Glory body butter for a couple of days now and not only does it smell gorgeous it's the thickest body butter I've ever used and it still sinks in really well while leaving enough time for massage. It's the perfect pregnancy skincare product!

It's also a fraction of the cost of the Mama Mio butter I was planning on buying!

Win Win!

I had to share a quick bump picture of course...My nails match my jamas!!!!

Note: I tried to compare valuefor money in the two products but it was tricky as Mama Mio measure their butter in grams and Soap and Glory use millilitres but here goes.. According to my online research friend, google, 125g is 235.85ml.

Mama Mio Tummy Rub Stretch Mark Butter "235ml" - £23.00

Can be bought online here

Soap&Glory The Righteous Butter 300ml - £10.21

Can be bought online here

*EVEN BETTER - can currently be bought on 3 for 2 at Boots*

Both of these products contain the active ingredient Shea Butter and I just refuse to believe the Mama Mio option can be any better than Soap&Glory's offering. At more than twice the price I'm not willing to find out for myself.

Week 29

2011-09-06T09:34:00.001-07:00

Wow.. Some symptoms have really kicked in this week. I've been growing increasingly breathless as time's gone on but now it's ridiculous! If I talk too fast I find myself panting and even standing for extended periods of time.. Getting frustrating now! In myself I am fine. I dont feel unwell at all or that pregnancy is preventing me from carrying on as normal but my every day activities are getting that bit more difficult. I am struggling to imagine growing even bigger right now when already I'm finding it hard to get off the sofa (lol) but I know I'm going to get much bigger before I'm done.

Babies are most active between 7pm and midnight apparently, I've found Zach to be quite the mover 24/7.. Hopefully that's not an early sign of a non-sleeping baby. Over my last 3 months of pregnancy he's going to grow from the 2.5lb he should be right now to the 7 or 8lbs he should be at birth. This means his movement will become less frequent as he is restricted by the space he's in and more uncomfortable for me for that same reason. I'm starting to get really itchy where my skin is stretching out. So far I'm stretch mark free and am keeping everything crossed I remain that way but every day he's getting bigger and I already feel fit to burst! As if the cellulite to my knees wasn't enough the threat of giant stretch marks is enough to keep anyone awake at night!

Ella Explains It All

2011-09-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

you absolutely have to watch these... priceless!

28 Week Bump

2011-09-04T03:01:00.000-07:00

I always look so weird in these photos.. I don't think I've grown that much in the last 4 weeks but it still baffles me how much bigger I'm going to have get for the baby to grow to a healthy weight. He's only 2.25lb this week which means he's going to triple in size before he's born.. I'm likely to get TWICE as big as this!! I'm glad I only have 4 more weeks at work, I don't think I'd be comfortable any longer than that.

Week 28

2011-09-02T02:41:00.001-07:00

Chinese Cabbage.. Doesn't usually summon images of a cute baby but regardless that's what Zach is likened to this week!

I had a midwife appt this morning .. More blood.. Eugh! She talked me through my last trimester (I'm officially in it from this week) I will have a further appt in 3 weeks then another 3 weeks later.. The week after that I see my consultant who all being well will book my csection for 3 weeks later.. Eek! Its all going so fast. Its like 3 weeks here, 3 weeks there.. BABY! she did tell me I wouldn't be allowed any pre-meds before the section which is disappointing but I'll just have to suck it up and get cut open fully aware of everything... I'm not gonna lie.. I'm not looking forward to that!

Breast is Best?

2011-08-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, let me start by saying these are my opinions, that's all they are. I know breastfeeding is a hot button issue and this post may evoke some strong reactions from some but I stand by my own feelings on the matter.

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On a lighter note.. little know fact about me, I have inverted nipples (look it up) I never realised this until I was pregnant with Ella and I saw an advert for Avent Niplette. I thought the pictures looked familiar and after a little google research discovered that I had this problem and how it would affect my chances at breastfeeding successfully. I don't really know if I ever had my heart set on breastfeeding but I know I was never against it. I've never been one to recoil at a woman breastfeeding in public, I suppose I'd never really had any strong feelings either way until I discovered I might not be able to do it. So I invested in the niplette. I can't decide if it would be better used as a bondage accessory or a torture device. Needless to say it didn't really work for me. I wrote it off as a bad job and didn't give it another thought until I was in the hospital with my newborn baby. You are asked if you intend to breastfeed. They didn't seem too pushy about it, I explained my situation and I think because I didn't give them a flat no that's where my issues with them began. They pushed me on several occasions to try to breastfeed. Now bear in mind how long you spend alone in hospital, outside visiting hours.. the only times they wanted me to try I had visitors. I'm not talking close family, I'm talking MOTHER-IN-LAW! They had no sensetivity about the issue at all and the way they dealt with me totally put me off ever trying again. I have absolutely no problem with breastfeeding or those who want to do it and can but some people can't! I had as much milk as I could have needed but the long and the short of it is I didn't have the nipples to deliver it! My Mum had the opposite problem, no milk, but again.. they pushed! Why must it be like that? It seems to work in cycles, for a time it's all pro-choice and whatever Mum wants is fine and then they go back to the old adage "breast is best". Well what about those of us that can't give our babies breastmilk? Are we failing to provide for them? I don't think so and I don't think we should be made to feel that way. Here are a couple of things I don't like about breastfeeding...

You never know how much your baby has had. Your child could be starving and you wouldn't know until the next weigh in... even then you'd just be guessing.
A lot of women really struggle with it and it can be immensley frustrating even when totally rested let aone when sleep depreived at 3am alone with your newborn.
The rest of the family don't get the bonding experience of feeding the new baby.
The Mum doesn't get the necassary rest provided by others being able to help with the night-time feeds.
For those that have cut out things like alcohol and cigarettes for 9 months that deprivation is extended by however long they breastfeed for.
It is apparently very painful not only to feed but the ache in your breasts when they're full, I've felt that and I can't imagine how much worse it is when feeding.

At the end of the day if you want to do it and you can do it then I hope it's everything you ever dreamed it would be but if it's not or you can't... so what? Don't let anyone make you feel bad for the way you are parenting your child. They are your child after all!!!

And that's my two cents

Week 27

2011-08-25T01:53:00.001-07:00

What? I'm nearly 7 months pregnant?? How did THAT happen? It's getting a bit scary now. With my furst pregnancy time really dragged but boy is it coming along fast this time. I'm still really enjoying being pregnant but I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable as my skin stretches a bit more than it wants to. I feel absolutely huge but I know I will double in size before it's over.

This week baby Zach (it's decided) is 2lbs. When I think he feels huge in there I realise how tiny he really is with my weekly updates. 2lbs is so small! He's apparently the size of a cauliflower... Which sounds bigger. I keep looking in his nursery and can't quite believe there'll be a baby in it soon.

How Much Caffiene is Too Much Caffiene?

2011-08-25T01:41:00.000-07:00

The Food Standard Agency recommends that pregnant women not consume more than 200mg of caffiene per day. But what is 200mg?
Being a self confessed coke addict (sounds worse than it is) the thought of cutting down is very unsettling but at the same time I don't want to do anything that would harm my baby.
On top of my love for the fizzy drink the fatigue pregnant women suffer makes this the wirst time to cut out caffiene completely. Without my daily dose I'm quite sure I'd be asleep at my desk by mid-morning.
So just how dangerous are our everyday beverages?
Here's a caffiene content rundown..

Can of Sprite - 0mg
Can of Cocacola - 32mg
Can of Diet Coke - 42mg (interesting!)
Cup of Tea - 50mg
Energy Drink - 80mg
Mug of Instant Coffee - 100mg
Mug of Filter Coffee - 140mg

Given that I'm not big on the tea and coffee I am pretty pleased to see that I can safely guzzle a couple of cans of coke and maybe even a cheeky bar of chocolate (50mg) with no harm done to my baby boy. Also good to know the odd red bull wont kill me either!
Just goes to show that in the health conscious world we live in where everyone has an opinion and we can't BREATHE without fear of doing it wrong.. sometimes its worth doing your research and making your own informed decision about what's right for you!

Week 26

2011-08-21T14:09:00.001-07:00

How freaky is this.. If you shine a light on my stomach right now the baby would put his hands up to shield his eyes!!! It's like a real life baby in there!!! Also oddly it's size this week is likened to a Hothouse Cucumber.. Mmm!

What's a little scary is the rate in which he is growing now. It's taken this long to get to 1.75lbs but from now it adds 0.25lbs every week... Its going to be HUGE in no time! No wonder I feel so heavy lately.

24 week bump

2011-08-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

I am so late in posting this and I look miserable I know but I am trying to keep up with a bump photo ever 4 weeks for my slideshow in the sidebar so here's what I took last week. I really wasn't as pissed off as it looks this was like the 10th photo I'd taken.. it's tricky to get a good angle from my tripod!

First Baby Kicks

2011-08-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I managed to get some baby kicks on film last week and put this video up on my YouTube channel. I'm assuming as you follow me here you probably follow me there too and so will have seen this already but for those of you that missed it... here it is now...

The kicks weren't massive and only a week later I know if I catch him at the right time I could get some better footage but I'll leave it a few more weeks and do an updated one. Let me know if you could see him! I know it was slight and tricky to tell but hopefully you can make out some movements.

Week 25

2011-08-09T07:10:00.001-07:00

Well I'm 25 weeks and let me tell you this baby wants OUT! He is kicking up a storm in there, it feels almost like he's pushed for space already which is crazy given that it feels like so long 'til he comes but I guess it's really not! It's just 10 weeks til our consultant appointment where the birth plan is decided and potentially the c-section is booked. Just 8 weeks til I finish work too which hopefully will fly.

The size this week is a Rutabaga, just 1.5lbs. Once again I had no idea what that was so for those of you like me...

It's basically a turnip.. Mmm.. Very attractive!

I've been getting really excited this week about my hospital stay which is a little bizarre I know, nobody likes to be in hospital but we will have our brand new baby finally and I'm just going to try and have fun planning what to take and such. Last week I bought an iPad so I can hopefully get a little video/blog/tweet while I'm in there. It wont be so bad. Especially if I do have a planned section, I'm really looking forward to having some control over my visit.

Have any if you got any must have suggestions for stuff I should take with me?

autumn fashion loves

2011-08-04T08:15:00.001-07:00

autumn maternity by missbudgetbeauty featuring knee boots

Maternity
$70 - topshop.com

Isabella oliver maternity
$215 - isabellaoliver.com

Paige Denim maternity
$202 - piperlime.gap.com

Old navy maternity
$20 - oldnavy.gap.com

Dorothy Perkins cotton maternity
£30 - dorothyperkins.com

Dorothy Perkins linen maternity
£10 - dorothyperkins.com

Old navy maternity
$20 - oldnavy.gap.com

Alexander McQueen platform boots
£420 - brownsfashion.com

Chloé knee boots
$995 - net-a-porter.com

MICHAEL Michael Kors leather handbag
$512 - my-wardrobe.com

ASOS strap watch
$52 - asos.com

Lucky brand earrings
$35 - zappos.com

H M wide brim hat
£9.99 - hm.com

6 Month Bump

2011-08-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

I told you I would post some outfit pictures soon so here's the first. The dress is from H&M (A/W 2011) and was £19.99. It was quite a journey to get it. I called around a lot of stores and all the smaller sizes had sold out. Luckily they came back in stock online so this arrived a few days ago... yay!

I thought I'd double up the post as a bump update. It seems to have popped out a bit more in the last fortnight, I'm officially not just fat looking now haha. I keep thinking I can't get much bigger but I still have 3 months to go and this is how big my bump was near the end with Ella... *eek*

Week 24

2011-08-03T01:34:00.001-07:00

This week the baby is the size of "corn" and 1.25lb. Now I'm assuming by corn they mean ..."on the cob" otherwise thats one TINY baby. Lee was reading the pregnancy book last night and discovered that a baby born from 24 weeks can survive with intensive care. Scary thought but nice to know. There's actually a girl I work with who thay has happened to this week but I shall blog about that sepetately.

Ella has now felt the baby kick which she was interested in to a point but not as much as I thought she would be. I think it will be cool for her when she can make out surface movements. It's very difficult to get a 5 year old to want to sit even for a minute waiting to feel a kick. It will be my Mum next (hi Mum) and then all the interested parties are covered.

Number one symptom this week would have to be breathlessness. Even eating leaves me out of breath.. Very frustrating!

Longing for my Leaner shape...

2011-08-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

With all the new Autumn/Winter collections in the shops I am finding myself longing to be slim again recently. It's not that I don't love my bump, it's more I miss being able to wear my favourite clothes and, more importantly, shopping for new ones. I recently bought a couple of Maternity items which I am loving but I loathe spending money on clothes that I will only wear for the next 3 months or so.

I will do some outfit posts soon of the stuff I have and how I've adapted some of my non-maternity wear to fit my growing shape. Most of the things I have bought I'm hoping I will get some use from in the future even if it's just while I need looser clothing for the months after the birth.

One thing I have really enjoyed working in to my routine now I'm getting bigger is moisturising. I'm so wary of the stretch mark fairy I am not happy if I can't feel moisture on my skin. As soon as one lotion has absorbed I'm applying another. Right now my favourites are Palmers Cocoa Butter, Mamma Mio Boob Tube, Garnier Intensive 7 days body lotion and Asda's on "little angels" stretch mark oil. I use some or all of these every day and so far no marks but trust me the day the first one arrives you will all know about it! I don't remember exactly when they came last time but I think it was around this time. I'm coming up for 6 months. Since I had Ella I've toyed with "toning up" and such but always decided it was best to stay as stretched out as possible until I've had all my babies. I'm keeping everything crossed that my boobs, bum and thighs are still at their wobbliest and I don't gain anymore weight than the last time so maybe.. just MAYBE I might get away without this time. I have none on my tummy so I will cry if I get them this time.

For now I know that I'm doing all I can to keep them at bay and fingers crossed I will be back in my regular clothes in time for some January Sale shopping!!!

A HAIRY Situation!

2011-08-01T10:27:00.001-07:00

I swear this was never an issue for me prior to being pregnant and I don't remember it from the first time around but ugh! My belly is HAIRY!

Bare in mind that this photo was taken after a serious plucking session and there were some crazy dark, wirey hairs to get rid of. I've always had some strays under my belly button but nothing like this. Now they're spreading! You can't see too well but they are migrating around my belly button and even further up. I'm nervous to use a hair removal cream because I seem to have developed some kind of tame rash as it is and wax could be even worse for my obviously sensetive skin. I don't want to shave because the stubble/upkeep would be unbearable so it would appear I'm stuck with this unsightly pregnancy side effect for now. Any suggestions?

Week 23

2011-08-01T09:05:00.001-07:00

This week the baby is the size of a Large Mango, 1.1lb and 11.5in long.

According to my "BabyBump" iPhone app braxton hicks (practice contractions) could start this week so that's always exciting.. Not! I was given a friends birthing ball so that will come in handy when they do start.

This week I thought I would share an up close shot of the baby's development as it's

Proportions are balancing out and it's starting to resemble a real baby...

And my very own bump photo!

It has really popped out this week! I am due to take my next bump photo in the next few days so I'll be interested to see it on my slideshow. I was taking them monthly but I'm growing so quickly now I think I'm going to start taking them every 2 weeks.

I have a couple of posts coming up on pregnancy skincare and symptoms so watch this space!

Moving Movie

2011-08-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

Since the baby has been moving so much I have been trying really hard to get the surface movements on video to upload. Rest assured the moment I have it on tape it will be uploaded and linked back here for all to watch but it's proving tricky. As with any kind of baby movement it's a waiting game. It's the only way I can share a kick with you all but I am determined so watch out... it will be coming very soon!

*Picture courtesy of Google Images

Week 22

2011-07-25T09:34:00.001-07:00

Boy am I tired this week! I'm nearing my third trimester and the fatigue has found me again! A positive thing this week is that the baby is larger (spaghetti squash) and his kicks are stronger so other people can feel them as well as me! It's really lovely that Lee can feel him kicking now, it's nice to be able to share it with him more!

Ella is really excited now and always rubbing my tummy. She thinks it's funny that my belly button has popped out! We are still really undecided on a name.. The current picks are Zack, Dylan and Lucas.. What do you think?

Pushchair Pondering

2011-07-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

I am currently trying to decide between 2 buggies (prams/pushchairs/strollers) so I thought I'd share with you what I'm looking at and maybe you'd have some opinions. I set out looking for something that could be a chassis alone that could hold a pushchair attachment or a car seat for better portability in the early stages when you have to lug around so much junk it makes you want to never leave the house again. I knew there were such contraptions on the market because I'd seen them but little did I know how many there were to choose from and how huge the difference in price can be.
We went to see some in action last week and I think i have it pinned down to just two. Both very similar and I think I know which I'd prefer but here they are for comparison.

First up is the Sola from Mamas and Papas RRP £275

It can be fully rotated on the chassis to be rear or front facing as well as being a base for several brands of car seat and a carrycot fixture if you so wished. It has 4 wheels, I can tell you from having a go in store that it's VERY easy to manoeuvre and I really like the handle which as well as being very comfortable is extendable for the taller parents among us. It's not cheap as pushchairs go but it's not totally breaking the bank and right now there's 10% off online and a deal where by if you purchase the corresponding Aton car seat there's another £50 to be saved!
The car seat in £135 and can be found here

Next is the Quinny Zapp RRP £149.99

A little rundown on the zapp.. It obviously has a more modern looking 3-wheeled chassis. The pushchair attachment is rigid and you only have the option of front facing. The handles are more handle bars than one comfortable bar to hold and as far as I can tell they don't extend. As with the Sola is manoeuvres nicely and as Ella had a go in it I can account for it's stability with heavier children lol. It also has a carrycot attachment which you can purchase separately and it can also be used with a variety of car seats.

The car seat that is promoted as go-with is the Maxi-Cosi which can be purchased for £99.99 here

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It is obvious which is the more financially appealing of the two but does that necessarily mean it's the one I should choose? I'm tempted to say that Sola would be more durable just because it's Mamas and Papas and I trust that brand to deliver high quality products. I've never had any first hand experience of anything Maxi-Cosi or Quinny but Ellas pram was Mamas and Papas and we literally ran it in to the ground because I didn't drive and therefore walked EVERYWHERE. It got some serious hammer and lasted really well. Both of these buggies are offering what I set out to find but should I plump for the cheaper, better looking Zapp or take a chance on the Sola, more expensive and not bad looking but likely to last longer if we did want to have another baby or pass it on to someone who was.

If any of you have any experience of either of these or just want to share your opinion please leave me a comment below :)

Week 21

2011-07-15T01:24:00.001-07:00

It's so weird to me 'cause I remember looking forward in the baby books and thinking "a banana?" like it was miles away but this week that is the size of my baby! I'm hoping the fruit analogy only refers to length as opposed to shape lol

I'm feeling good right now. Not so tired, not so hungry, bit of a stitch feeling which I think is the stretching sensation but no dizziness, all good really! I'm still not feeling big enough movements for anyone else to be able to feel them but I'm sure it will happen soon enough

Baby Bumpin' and Big Love!

2011-07-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed my tiny slide show in my sidebar (I don't know how to make it bigger) well I added this picture to it this week and I thought I'd share a full sized picture. My bump has come out for all to see recently.. the difference in the last 4 weeks is just unreal. I feel huge already but I know I will be so much bigger towards the end. I'm feeling a lot more positive since my last post. I am fairly set on a C-section again as I was originally and since I made that decision I'm a lot calmer. I really appreciate all of you that commented and offered your moral support as well as those that shared their own experiences.. I would love to here from you if you've got some positive c-section memories to share with me (no horror stories please) Every message I get from someone advocating multiple sections makes me feel so much better!!!

To Push Or Not To Push?

2011-07-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been too nervous of the birth since I first found out I was pregnant and had a minor panic attack. I have always been told I would have another section if I were to have a second child so I psyched myself up for the big operation, convinced myself it was what I wanted and the best thing to do. I went to my 20 week scan last week and met with my consultant (same guy as I had with Ella) for the first time and discussed the birth plan and any issues I had. Given that I had no issues the birth was top billing and he gave me a run down of my options. He basically told me that having looked into the notes of my previous pregnancy there should be no medical reason I can't give birth naturally this time and that when it is possible that is always what they recommend. He took my initially C-section wishes in to consideration but made me aware I may not have that choice. SHIT!

So.. since that day I'm been pretty much freaking out. I go back and forth between what I should do. I'm fairly confident that if I 100% wanted another section I could get one by some means. I have very little confidence that I will go through labour and actually manage to get the baby out without surgical intervention because of my previous experience so in part I think is it not just better to elect the caesarean and know what's going to happen but if I DID manage a natural birth the recover would be 100 times quicker and easier and I would have my body back almost immediately. That's a huge plus point. If I go for the section again we're talking 6 weeks until I can even drive! The discomfort lasts about a fortnight but there's always the risk of infection and other complications with any major operation. They are literally slicing through several layers of me and sewing them all back up.. let's just say it's sore! On top of that I will go in to it this time totally sober. The first time I was pretty much off my head on all kinds of drugs by the time they wheeled me into surgery but I would be seriously aware of everything this time.. that's pretty f***ing scary!

My questions now are

Will I be allowed to go overdue? (I went 2 weeks with Ella and had to be induced.. I think that's a big part of the reason I had emergency surgery in the end)
How long will I be allowed to be in labour before they intervene?
If I do book in for an elective section what happens if I go in to labour before it?

I think they are my big burning questions for my next midwife appointment and knowing me I'll forget to ask any of them but they are really now my deciding factors. I like the idea of going in to labour and it being very exciting and all that but I didn't have that last time, I was 2 weeks late then induced THREE TIMES before anything started to happen and it was then another 24 hours before she was born. I had the epidural and had thr gas and air, the Pethadin.. anything going basically and I was in established labour! I was dialating, I was feeling the urge to push and then I go whisked off in to theatre and sliced open anyway. If I was told for sure I could have a natural birth and that yes of course it was going to hurt and yes I would probably need an episiotomy to get the baby out but I could do it and I would definitely not be given a section then I think that would be my choice but deep down I just know I wont get that. I know if I go in to labour it will all end the same way anyway. The consultant himself said that an elective is always better than an emergency (duh) and I THINK that when I see him again in another 15 weeks if I am adamant that I want an elective section he will give me one but.. what if he doesn't? I just wish I could prepare myself either way. When you've only had a natural labour or no labour at all these questions don't arise but for me it's all I think about.

I'm trying to forget about it until my next appointment for now.. nothing is going to happen between now and another 3 or 4 weeks so I'm trying to just enjoy this phase of pregnancy but that consultant really threw me off my game.

You can probably expect more rambling posts like this from time to time when the stress gets so much I need an outlet but more than anything I needed to have written down my worries so in 15 weeks time I will remember how I felt now and all the questions I have for the man that holds all the cards. He decides my fate after all. I'm completely out of control!

Week 20

2011-07-09T04:44:00.001-07:00

So I'm officially halfway through and in working that out I also discovered that pregnancy is 10 months!!!! How has this happened? I got over it pretty quickly when I decided it put me another month away from giving birth! *phew*

This week the baby is apparently the size of a small cantelope.. Huh! Another exciting thing was scan.. I finally know if it's a boy or a girl (if you want to know watch my video below)

Pink or Blue?

2011-07-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ok It's happened.. I'm officially excited!

Tomorrow is the day of our scan and boy oh boy (or girl) am I looking forward to it.

FINALLY we get to find out what we're having. I have the names picked out all ready and waiting so from tomorrow it will be a real person we're waiting to meet. For those wondering the chosen names are Dylan and Lexi (it will be either Alexa or Alexis). Once we know either way I'll get more in to that but they're fairly decided now I think.. near enough definite.. but you do never know til it's born do you?

Ella is crazy excited too.. every morning she comes to see me "2 more sleeps Mummy" she can't wait. She's told me she wants a girl, she's told me she wants a boy and now she tells me there's no point in talking about "we'll get what we're given" haha! Wise words! It's going to be so cool taking her with us to see the baby on screen. Since the last scan when I decided she could come to this one she has been counting down the days so it's a really big deal for her little 5 year old self let alone us grown up's. My Mum is coming with us too.. partly to look after Ella if she does get bored and when I have my consultant appt afterwards but also because she's uber-excited too and wants to see it. At Ella's scan my Mum came along and if it hadn't been for her I'd never have known if it was a boy or a girl.. I was 19, they did the scan and just never said anything and I was so young I wasn't going to speak up so she did and we found out she was a she.

This has been the point I've been waiting for, the thing that I knew would get me more excited and it's finally nearly here!!! The baby has been so active too, I'm still waiting on the movements being consistent and large enough for Lee to feel but feeling him or her move around inside me is pretty darn special I can tell you.. I don't remember how I felt the first time but somehow this time it's different. I've been less excited up until this point but now it feels almost better. It's probably just because this was planned and so wanted for so long. It's taken me a while to truly believe it's happening and now I've wrapped my head around it .. yep.. I'm excited!!!

So.. I will do my best to get some footage tomorrow like last time but we'll just have to see.. we were lucky so fingers crossed! Either way I will vlog and blog and you will all know the result as soon as I do :)

Week 19

2011-07-02T06:05:00.001-07:00

19 weeks and apparently the baby is the equivalent to Heirloom Tomato in size... Now I have never heard of an heirloom tomato so I took the liberty of providing a photo for those of you like me!

So thats pretty huge.. No wonder my bellys popped out this week.

I have a picture of that too...

I'm feeling the pregnancy now, I'm breathless and uncomfortable and the sleepiness has returned in full force. I'm finding the challenge of dressing my new shape quite fun now I dont just look "a bit fat" and I feel days away from a kick Lee could actually feel. It's feeling more and more like we're going to have a baby.. Which is a good job 'cause it'll be here in 4 months!!!!

What's in a name?

2011-06-25T16:24:00.001-07:00

Now I'm still fairly set on our boys name of Dylan but I'm really stuck for a girls name. I think that's because we're having a boy but before we find out fir sure in a week and a half I thought I'd share our current list...

Girls
Lexi
Olivia
Zoe
Heidi
Sienna

Boys
Dylan

If you have any fabulous suggestions I would love to here them!!!

Choosing a Changing bag

2011-06-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

Changing bags... wow there's a lot of choice out there! First one of which, I think, is whether to buy a changing bag at all.. or a multi-purpose holdall. Changing bags are functional, yes, but do they hold everything you want for the price you want to pay... and in a cute package?

Here's a little look at what's out there right now..

Mamas & Papas

Satchel bag and Cover in Cress

£55.00

Skip, Hop, Dash

Deluxe in Uptown Stripe

£54.75

Pink Lining

Yummy Mummy Changing Bag In Foxglove Glen

£70.00

Ju-Ju-Be

BeAll in Dizzy Daisies

£94.50

Wallaboo

Changing Bag in Pink

£42.00

ZPM

Nappy Bag

£24.00

Cath Kidston

Spot Holdall in Blue/White

£60.00

Frost French

Floozie cream print holdall

£22.50

Hello Kitty

Changing Bag in Pink/Silver

£89.99

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Firstly... OH MY GOD Changing bags can be EXPENSIVE!

Who knew? I can't remember how much I paid for my first but I know it wasn't more than £50.. some of the bad boys out there today can set you back a couple of hundred squid.. that is CRAZY!

Much as it matters what it looks like on the outside functionality has to win out in the choosing of a bag.

There are so many different kinds to choose from, you can get them that unfold to reveal a mini changing station, you can get ones with 10 pockets and ones with just two. What will work for one Mum wont work for another. Ellas changing bag did unfold and I thought that was really handy so I might look for that again but I sacrificed storage space for that function and perhaps there is something out there now that's a better combination of the two.

If you have any fantastic recommendations for me... please go ahead and leave me a comment!!!

Nursery So Far

2011-06-24T00:28:00.001-07:00

You may remember I mentioned we decorated the nursery about a month ago. Since then nothings really happened with it and it's continued to store my junk. I am steadily clearing the wardrobes of my stuff and creating a more baby-friendly space. I will blog pictures of the progress a bit at a time but I had to share the cute decorative bits I bought yesterday. The boxes and bunting are both from the Next "Ziggy and Friends" range. I wanted to go with bright colours and gender-neutral stuff since we don't know what we're having yet. I may have got some shots of the decorating stages so if I find them I'll post those too.. Otherwise I think this is going to move quickly now it's got a bit of momentum!

Week 18

2011-06-21T14:40:00.001-07:00

So apparently I'm 18 weeks pregnant!154 days away from birth.. EEK! let's push that aside for a moment and be scared about that nearer the time. But for all of that sweet potato sized baby in my belly I still just look fat lol. I will take an 18 week belly shot tomorrow and show you.. I'm still at that inbetween stage where a stranger wouldn't dare presume and I am feeling a little self conscious.

I'm sure I'll pop and be huge before I know it and then wish I was just a bit podgy again but its an annoying phase while I'm in it! I'm still not feeling much movement. A little here and there but it's always over before it's begun. Also I'm getting out of breath so easily now, I walk home and every day it gets a little bit harder. So.. Here's to week 18!

Back To My Roots

2011-06-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

Since I fell pregnant I have had the oddest problem... my hair wont seem to take colour.

I have coloured it a few times in the last 4 months but check out my roots. I know my hair hasn't grown that much in the one month since I coloured last. The dye doesn't take very well at first on my "virgin" hair and then washes out really quickly leaving these unsightly roots :(

I'm not really sure what to do now. I don't really want to put any harsh bleach on my hair after it reacted so badly last time but I'm not going to be able to wait out the regrowth. I have another 5 months before I'm potentially back to normal so a trip to professionals may be my only hope. I know I never suffered from this problem last time so I'd love to hear from you if something similar has happened to you!

17 Weeks

2011-06-15T13:15:00.001-07:00

Lee's reaction to the picture this week was "oh my god, what is wrong with that baby?" lol. So... Nice to know where he stands. It's onion sized this week. I thought I'd feel more flutters since it's a bit bigger but I haven't really felt anything. That's really what I'm waiting on now. I want to feel my baby!!!

I am enjoying the pampering goodies I've been treating myself to lately and keeping everything crossed I can keep stretch marks at bay.

Pregnancy Pampering

2011-06-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

This week I've been browsing the beauty aisles for pregnancy focused products. I figure I'm already a beauty junkie, why not take advantage of these speciality products while they I can?
One thing I have picked up and may already have mentioned is..
Mama Mio Boob Tube 50ml £19.50
This is one of those products that you just don't believe can possibly be as good as everyone says. I thought it was over hyped and more expensive than I'd like but hey.. I'm a very vain person and how can you put a price on a firm, stretch mark free bust post pregnancy number two? I came off pretty badly the first time, I didn't pay attention to that area and the stretch marks found me close to the end... Not this time!!! I apply this stuff nightly and after 2 or 3 days I could see a huge improvement in skin tone and texture. Whether it will actually help prevent sagging or what have you I guess we'll never know for sure but I'm extremely hopeful and even if it doesn't I would still recommend this as a firming moisturiser - baby or no baby!
I have of course wanted to focus on my tummy too but I've been a little cavalier here as I am proud to brag I haven't one stretch mark anywhere on my middle (yet) I would love to tell you it was a miracle cream but I think it' more likely that I've never been very toned and although I wasn't heavy I was never super skinny and could pretty much always push my tummy out and feign pregnancy. I did, however, take a lot of care to moisturise my tummy so you never know.. maybe that did make a difference after all! What I used was..

Body Shop Coco Butter 200ml £12.50
This stuff was like crack to me back then. I can't tell you how many tubs of this stuff I went through. I slathered it on with wild abandon.. Unfortunately my tummy was my only focus area and by the time ugly purple lines appeared on my bum, boobs and thighs it was too late to recover. This time around I have taken to using the much more cost effective Palmers Cocoa Butter which takes forever to use up, melts into your warm skin and keeps me feeling moisturised for 24 hours... FOR REAL! Best of all the Palmers version is just £3.22 for 100g of concentrated formula. I think when it comes to pregnancy body care if it feels like it's working that's all you can ask for because nobody really ever knows do they? Cocoa butter is the ultimate moisturising treat for sure.
Since Ella was born I've tried the hugely popular Bio Oil to improve the look of the stretch marks but honestly I don't think it does a thing. I think once you've got them they're yours.. you have to learn to love them because you're going to have to live with them for a really long time! that being said I'm sure that theory wont stop me shelling out the big bucks for some miracle creams if I fall victim again.
I've looked into relaxing bathtime treats and the one that's appealing to me right now is..

Sanctuary Mum To Be Soft Skin Bath Soak 400g £9.14
This stuff just looks luxurious. It makes me want to go and fill up the tub. It's made with natural ingredients and essential oils and claims to leave you feeling fully pampered and glowing with motherhood. Hmm... Why is it when I hear these tag lines I feel a sudden scepticism rise in me? Either way I used to love bath salts and I like that it is a "soft skin" bath soak.. this suggests it might actually help with the whole moisturising/stretch mark prevention fight and as we know.. every little helps!
Overall I think this whole range looks really interesting. They do their own tummy rubs and oils, all aimed at Mums to be and new Mums that need a little TLC.
I, for one will definitely be picking up a couple of bits from the affordable brand (available in Boots) You are bombarded with pregnancy brands on the market right now and it's so tricky for expectant Mums to chose the good from the bad. For the most part we are talking the prevention of permanent scars on your body.. do you skimp on that? I mean surely the most expensive product is going to be the most effective? I don't think so! I am going to be trialling as many of these products as I can get my hands on (within reason) and sharing my discoveries with you. I am going to shell out for some high end, supposedly "better" lotions and potions as well as bog standard drugstore equivalents and telling you what I think is really worth spending your hard earned cash on and what is just an over hyped, overpriced label.
If you have any great recommendations for me to try or anything you'd like me to review drop me a comment below and I'll try and incorporate it! If you'd just like to share your own product review then leave your link for my readers and I to check out.
You can expect many more posts like this so watch this space.

Baby Bump so far

2011-06-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

As so many of you have requested it I thought I'd share with you my bump pictures so far!

I hadn't got much of one until a couple of days ago when it popped out (biscuits and sweets more than baby no doubt) so these are all I have so far. From now on I will try and update once every fortnight until it starts really growing then I'll up it to weekly. I'm still looking a little thick around my middle and not big enough yet that anyone would dare to ask "when's it due" for fear of offending me but it's expanding all the time so it's about time I tracked the progress. You may have already noticed I have added a little slideshow in the sidebar of this blog with these pictures but it's not a great size so I will continue to put the pictures in update posts too...

Thanks for reading and while you're here don't forget to follow this blog so as not to miss anything!

16 Weeks

2011-06-09T04:56:00.001-07:00

This is one clever bambino because the day I turned 16 weeks pregnant I felt my first flutter of movement. They say you start to feel something anytime from 16-20 weeks so it was perfectly on time. It was so strange and very exciting but all too brief! I can't wait to feel a proper kick!

This week it's an avocado apparently and if the pictures anything to go by it's a bit freaky lookin' ... I think I'll need to step up my fat intake 'cause I want a cute little baby, nice and chubby as they should be. I'm starting to get more excited about everything now I've felt some movement. I have finished painting the nursery so I will put some progress pics of that up very soon as well as an updated bump pic!

4 month Update and testing panic

2011-06-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

15 Weeks

2011-06-03T05:14:00.001-07:00

I'm nearly 4 months pregnant and I still can't believe it lol. This week the baby is the size of a "navel orange" - whatever that is! I've looked ahead a bit and I should warn you the fruit comparisons only get more bizarre as the weeks progress. We had another midwife appointment today and heard baby's heartbeat for the first time which was really special. Nicer for me than the scan, I was stressed then but today I was relaxed and really appreciated the experience. I'm considering buying one of those little things that allows you to listen at home, that would be pretty cool!

We've been so busy this week decorating and preparing the house for the baby's arrival. The nursery is all done now, we just need some extra bits, We have a swinging cot from when Ella was little but I think that will go in our room while it's with us and then we will be purchasing a larger one for the nursery.It's getting quite exciting now, it's feeling a little more realy but I'm still holding something back, I'm sure I'll feel overwhelmed in a month or so when I feel the baby move for the first time and it all hits me at once. For now I'm carrying the equivalent of a navel orange and just looking a bit podgy.

Is my baby OK?

2011-05-29T02:31:00.000-07:00

So I took you with me on my 12 week scan and shared pictures of our little one still forming in the womb but I didn't get into the ins and outs of what happened that day. For those of you that don't know the process of testing an unborn baby for Down's Syndrome and other genetic problems has changed since I was last pregnant nearly 6 years ago. You now have the option of a nuchal translucency (NT) scan. During your scan they tell you they will measure the thickness of the back of the baby's neck, they are actually measuring the fluid underneath the skin, this can be used to determine the risk of that baby having Down's Syndrome.

During our scan the sonographer took what felt like an age to measure this and I was convinced there was something wrong. After the scan we received our results from the midwife and the measurement our baby had was 3.1mm. Apparently the cut off is 3.5mm.. so anything lower than that doesn't fall in to the risk category.

There is also a blood test which you can have (didn't feel like I had much of a choice).

The blood test measures:
• hCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin)
• PAPP-A (pregnancy associated plasma protein)
A woman who is carrying a baby with Down's syndrome will have abnormal levels of these two substances in her blood. You are given a result of 1 in ? and the cut off is 300. A woman with a 1/300 chance or higher would be classed as high risk. They told us if we fell in to the high risk category we would be contacted (by phone) within 7 days... if we were low risk we would receive notification (by post) within 2 weeks.

We received a letter yesterday (meaning we were low risk) and informing us that our number was 1 in 536.

It's all very well saying your "low risk" but surely there are degrees of low risk.. they don't tell you what "normal" is because everybody is different but if the NT scan cut off is 3.5mm and we're 3.1mm... wouldn't that worry you? What do other people get? 2mm? 1mm? And 1 in 536 chance of downs.. ok the cut off is 1 in 300 but some people get results of 1 in 1500.. when you put it in to that perspective.. 1 in 536 isn't exactly LOW risk, is it?

When I was having the scan and fearing the worst I thought the baby wasn't okay and I wasn't scared or upset I was practical. I knew we had a higher chance of conceiving again since Lee's test results had been so positive at the last fertility appointment and if this pregnancy wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be!

Since then I've thought a lot about it and and I just haven't become attached to this baby yet. I've tried but I'm not. I am excited when I think we're going to have a baby but it's a mixture of not really believing it yet and not wanting to be too disappointed if something does go wrong. So many people both in the public eye and that I know are losing baby's at 4 and 5 months + I feel like the baby isn't really mine until it's here and healthy. Hopefully I will feel more positive soon but right now I'm getting excited... but not TOO excited ... just in case.